Wimbledon 2029: The Federer Showdown

It's Wimbledon 2029. Nineteen year old Charlene Federer is facing Myla Federer in the Wimbledon final. They're due to turn twenty in a couple of weeks on July 23 (the same day as their fairy godmother Jodi from Tennis From The Backseat will turn... much older than twenty) and they're going to be playing in the doubles final later that afternoon, but for now, sisterly love is forgotten.

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It's 6-7 (16-18) 7-6 (22-20) 26-26 in the final - the longest women's match in history. Roger Federer is sitting in Charlene's row. Mirka Federer is sitting behind him in Myla's row. Four weeks earlier, their positions had been reversed, when Charlene and Myla played each other in the Roland Garros final. Charlene and Myla's young siblings are scattered between the rows. No one is taking sides, but everyone is biting their nails. The greatest match of the women's game might not even be halfway over yet.

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Yes, this is what we might have to look forward to.

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Late at night in Switzerland, the lovely Mrs Mirka Federer gave birth to twin girls, girls that might grow up to be the future of the WTA tour. Whether they are identical or fraternal we do not know, but one thing we do know about Charlene Riva Federer and Myla Rose Federer is that they will be remarkable. They have some of the best tennis DNA you could possibly imagine, but if they do not choose to follow that path, they have two of the most wonderful parents conceivable.

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I fail to see how Roger and Mirka Federer could have children who did not grow up to be truly amazing.

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And they were born on my birthday. Oh yes they were.

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Whether or not they have a tennis career is, of course, entirely up to the young Charlene and Myla, but even now, when they are about a day old, people are projecting Wimbledon finals for these girls and a rivalry not unlike that of the Williams sisters. Sure, it may be a bit unfair on the girls to project such expectations on them, but can you imagine how marvellous Myla and Charlene might be at our beautiful game? We might be in for one of the greatest rivalries in tennis history. Buckle your seatbelts!
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But tennis aside, what we can be sure of is that these two girls will grow up to be lovely human beings, courtesy of their lovely parents, and that they will change the lives of Roger and Mirka forever. I'm sure Roger is going to want a few Grand Slams in front of his precious girls, and Mirka, Myla and Charlene are going to want to cheer him on! But this is not about tennis right now.

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Congratulations, Roger. Congratulations, Mirka. And welcome to the world, Myla Rose. Welcome to the world, Charlene Riva. You are blessed girls, with such parents (and such a wondrous birthday-sharin' fairy godmother!) May you live glorious and beauteous lives!

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Today's Results

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International German Open (Hamburg)

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Nikolay Davydenko def. Victor Hanescu, 6-3 4-6 6-3

David Ferrer def. Simon Greul, 6-2 6-3

Paul-Henri Mathieu def. Viktor Troicki, 3-0 retired

Pablo Cuevas def. Nicolas Almagro, 6-2 6-4

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Indianapolis Tennis Championships (Indianapolis)

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Frank Dancevic def. Dmitry Tursunov, 3-6 7-6 (7-5) 6-2

Sam Querrey def. Marc Gicquel, 6-4 7-5

Robby Ginepri def. Alex Bogomolov Jr., 7-5 6-1

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Banka Koper Slovenia Open (Portoroz)

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Dinara Safina def. Maria Elena Camerin, 6-3 6-0

Sara Errani def. Petra Martic, 6-1 6-1

Stefanie Voegele def. Rossana de los Rios, 6-1 6-1

Alberta Brianti def. Camille Pin, 6-3 6-2

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Nurnberger Gastein Ladies (Bad Gastein)

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Alize Cornet def. Barbora Zahlavova Strycova, 6-4 2-6 6-2

Ioana Raluca Olaru def. Magdalena Rybarikova, 6-4 6-4

Andrea Petkovic def. Anna-Lena Groenefeld, 6-7 (6-8) 6-3 6-1

Yaroslava Shvedova def. Yvonne Meusburger, 6-2 6-3