Tribute to a Fallen Hero

I am destroyed.

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I am sitting with my laptop on my lap as I write this, and I had to retype the previous sentence about seven times because I am shaking with sobs. I'm trying hard not to cry onto the keyboard, but I can't help it. I am destroyed. I am destroyed.

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Of all the people to lose to, why Djokovic? Why Novak Djokovic? When Federer loses to Nadal, it's hard to take, but Rafa is lovely, so I can come to terms with it in the end. When he loses to randoms like Volandri and Canas, it's hard, but I can get over it.

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But not Djokovic. Not Djokovic.

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Novak Djokovic rubs me up the wrong way. There's an arrogance about him that makes me grit my teeth. This was supposed to be a beating, like the fourth round of the Open last year, when Djokovic was shooting off his mouth and Federer put him in his place. I don't know what happened.

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Well, I do know what happened. Djokovic beat Federer, fair and square. There is no question that Djokovic was the better player tonight. I don't want to make excuses for Federer, since he never does for himself, but that was not the Federer of Grand Slams past out there. That was the Federer that has walked out to face Rafael Nadal in the final of Roland Garros for the past two years, the Federer with fear. Or at least so it seemed to me. Because Federer, even if he was trying his best (which he will undoubtedly say in his interviews) did not play his best out there. He was inhibited, playing within himself, letting Djokovic pin him to the baseline, rarely coming in, not mixing it up, and worst of all (for him) his forehand, the best shot ever in men's tennis, failed him. He made a ridiculous amount of unforced errors compared to his usual. And he was not Federer the frontrunner. When he was frontrunning, he dropped back. He... wasn't there.

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Or maybe he was. But he... this was Roger, but it was not the normal Roger.

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I noted a while back that he was over-vocalising in some of his matches, against Blake especially. He was almost under-vocalising in this one. For the first two and a half sets, he was silent. And Djokovic played crazy-good. He's really been the form player in this tournament - even though I dislike him immensely, I cannot deny it - and he came out all guns blazing. Much as I hate him, I have to say it: Djokovic deserved to win this match.

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Though that doesn't mean I won't be gunning for Tsonga with every inch of my being come Sunday night. Or that I'll stop crying anytime soon.

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It's easy to hitch yourself to a star. To pick a player and follow them because they win, and so you're rarely disappointed. To be, essentially, a fairweather fan. I'm sure, through no fault of his own, Roger has lost a fan or two tonight. Likewise, I'm sure Djokovic has gained some. Everyone loses sometimes. Everyone wins sometimes. And I'm sure this isn't the beginning of some massive downward slump for Federer or anything like that. Djokovic or no, he is still the greatest player in history. He has won twelve Slam titles and countless other accolades, and no one can take that away.

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But watching Federer lose brings back into sharp focus, for me, why I admire him so much. It is not because he wins, but because he is such a great ambassador for the sport. Watching him play - though not tonight, obviously - is like watching poetry in motion. But that is not why he is so wonderful.

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Can you imagine a better man to be a spokesperson for tennis - or, indeed, anything? He is charming, clever, a polyglot, and above all, really, really nice. This is a man who represents sportsmanship in its purest forms: he never denigrates an opponent, whether he wins or loses. He will never take away an opponent's triumph. He resists his beatification as a virtual tennis saint. He is, by his own admission, 'just Roger' and what he brings is 'all he's got.' He is humble. He is real. And yes, I love it when he wins, and it destroys me when he doesn't. But that doesn't change anything.

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This man is still the greatest tennis player to have ever played. And, more importantly, he is possibly the most wonderful man ever to pick up a racquet, in all aspects of his life. Win, lose, retire, that will never change. You can take a victory away from Federer, but nothing will ever take away what Federer is. He is the greatest. He is the most tremendous athlete of our age. He is the model to which all sportspeople should aspire. And moreover, he is an excellent example of humility and fair play - qualities which are relevant not only in tennis but in life.

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Erin suggested to me that I write an article about life lessons I have learned from Roger Federer. The first lesson? Winning isn't everything. And when you lose, you have to take it on the chin, and then move on.

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Djokovic will get his dues. And if he wins the Open, congratulations. But at this point in his career, he is not half the man Roger Federer is. And until he has proved to me that he has these qualities, this inner strength... Roger has still won.

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This is one fan Roger Federer has not lost, and will never lose, because he is, quite simply, a champion, on and off the court, in tennis and in life.

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Australian Open Results - Day 12

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Men's Draw

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Novak Djokovic def. Roger Federer, 7-5 6-3 7-6 (7-5)