Heartbreak

I have never hated Rafael Nadal more.

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The match has been over for about five minutes. I missed most of the speeches, because I was sobbing too hard to function in any capacity at all. If the match had gone the other way, I would have been lauding it as one of the greatest matches of all time - and doubtless, it is, and I will accept it in time. But it will take me a while to dry my eyes.

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That poor man. That poor, beautiful man.

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The French Open defeat was nothing compared to this one. This one... this one hurts. Roger was never really expected to win the French. This one... I have never been so miserable over a tennis match in all my life. And I've sat through some tough ones. The Masters Cup match with Nalbandian comes to mind. The semi against Djokovic was another. I have never been in agony so extreme.

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I am told very often that I get far too emotionally involved in tennis. Doubtless, this is true. But I have followed this sport so closely for so long that it is a huge part of my life. The world is a brighter place when the tennis is going well. The next few days are going to be a dark time for me and that beautiful man.

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I am so proud of him for holding in his tears when he so dearly wanted to cry. He will cry them later, I know, on Mirka's shoulder, but it was such a great effort for him not to break down right there, and he did it, for Rafa's sake. He is, to the end, the consummate sportsman. I know how hard it is not to cry when you so dearly want to - need to - but you can't, because of the situation. Oh, Roger. Roger, Roger, Roger.

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I can take nothing away from Rafa. This was an epic match and if someone had to end the Federer streak, it is in a way fitting that it was him. He played wonderfully and now he has his own little piece of Borg history - he is the first man to win Roland Garros and Wimbledon since Bjorn. Borg also won five Wimbledons, and made it to the final of the sixth. Federer has that distinction now too.

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There was a hint of Borg/McEnroe about this match... that infamous 1981 final. But... oh, God. Oh Roger. I wanted you to win so badly.

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No one can say that these guys didn't fight. When some time has passed... ten years, maybe... I am sure I will install this match up there with that AO '05 Federer/Safin semi as one of the highest quality matches of all time. 9-7 in the third. Who would have thought that with Nadal two sets to love up?

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That is one life lesson I have learned from Roger Federer. A true champion never stops fighting. And Roger never did, not until the bitter end. And no one could ever accuse Rafa of not fighting... he really did deserve his win. He was a frickin' human backboard - a cyborg. (CyBorg?) But Roger deserved it too. Why couldn't it be a tie? Why couldn;t they both win?

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One of the things I love about tennis is that there is only one winner. But I don't love that so much right now.

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I do at least have the consolation of knowing that Roger will remain #1. He will drop 300 points and Rafa gain them, but he is still comfortably in front. And Djokovic will lose many points, which is nice. Consolations, consolations.

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But I am pretty inconsolable right now. The French Open final was horrible. But this is heartbreaking. I have cried a lot of tears over a lot of tennis matches, but this is the most bitter defeat I have ever experienced... because he was so close. So close. And I love him and admire him so much. He is such a hero for me. And I don't want to see him sad. I don't want to see him hurting. And I don't think a loss has been this hard for Roger Federer for a very long time.

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This could go two ways. Either, he could let this play on his mind, and have a rubbish US hardcourt season. Or he could bounce back tougher and stronger than ever, and stamp himself firmly all over the last part of the year.

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And he's Roger Federer. He is the greatest tennis player that ever lived. I know what he will do.

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Wimbledon Results - Day #13

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Men's Draw

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Rafael Nadal def. Roger Federer, 6-4 6-4 6-7 (5-7) 6-7 (8-10) 9-7