A Trainwreck Named Ana

Oh, Ana.

I don't know how much more there is to say about this girl. It started off as a slump. Then it turned into a bad season, a bad year. Now it's just a disaster. I feel it's not inaccurate to say that Ana Ivanovic's 'real' career ended with a bang, and that bang was her victory at Roland Garros 2008. Everything afterwards...? It just does not bear speaking of.

Is it - and it's difficult to say this - game over for Ana?

I think there could definitely be worse things for her than just taking some solid time out of the game - maybe even a Justine and Kim style sabbatical. I mean, with her loss to Sevastova today she's out of the top fifty, so much worse can it get? First it was the top ten, then the top twenty, then the top fifty... those milestones are only going to keep coming until she does something serious about her game. And trying to play through it... that's a whole year and a half of stuff not working.

Go away, Ana. I don't want to see your face again before you've fixed what is wrong. I don't even know what is wrong any more. It's probably not just one thing. It's many things. Fix them all - or at least some key ones. Because what you're doing at the moment...? Not helping. You might get a few wildcards on account of how you are Ana Ivanovic, but really? you're going to have to start playing qualies sooner rather than later and that is not going to help at all. Not when you start losing - because at the rate you're going, you will - to people who will never sniff the Grand Slam glory that you once tasted.

Go away and fix your issues. That is the only advice I can offer now.

On the upside, though, how awesome is Anastasija Sevastova? I'm really digging her at the moment - I'd like to see her string some great results together!

A Time And A Place

So, um, that was awkward.

Don't get me wrong - I think Hit for Haiti is awesome. This one was definitely not the pure distilled radness that was the first one, but hey, it got it done. It made the big monies for charity and the crowd had fun times. And I think just about everyone reckons Navratilova, Graf and Davenport could make some pretty sweet comebacks. Navratilova especially. She has got it going on.

And then we had the dudes. And it started out well - I mean, hello, it had Tennis's Greatest Bromance out there with Roger and Rafa, and there's obviously bromances between Roger and Sampras and Agassi as well...

...but it is pretty obvious, no matter how many 'I love you, man's get thrown around, that there is some unfinished business between Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras. There is a whole lot of anger and bitterness and it's pretty clear that they just don't like each other much, end of story. Which is fine. They have every right not to like each other.

But Hit for Haiti was not the place to start making caustic remarks at each others' expense. It was pretty clear that Roger and Rafa found it really awkward, and the crowd found it awkward, and hell, everyone that watched it must have seen it was awkward.

The money still got raised and it's not going to make a difference in that sense, but dudes, time and a place. Hit for Haiti - not that place. I don't think it was ever going to be as awesome as the first one - you just couldn't fake that joyful spontaneity - but at least the players there just got into it and had a blast. Roger and Rafa kept those grins plastered on their faces throughout the whole Andre/Pete exchange, but there was no blast being had there.

C'mon, Pete. C'mon Andre. This is weird to say, considering the dudes you were playing with/against are younger than you, but grow up. Roger and Rafa are exemplary for the sport. Pete and Andre... great humanitarians, both of them, obviously... but this was not the right time for dirty laundry.

I Don't Care What It Says On Your Shoes

You know who is a disappointing player? Michelle Larcher de Brito. Seriously, why does she get talked about so much? I don't understand it at all. Maybe it's just that she's young and hasn't grown into her game or something and wiser people than me have seen some kind of Ultimate Tennis Potential in her, but she does absolutely nothing for me. Nothing at all. Exhibit A: she got crushed today by Alexandra Dulgheru. Like, crushy mcrushed with a side of orange crush. Not good.

I'm almost positive the reason she gets discussed so much is because of her shriek. She's freaking loud. Anyway care to gainsay me?

And this is so not trendy to say, because she is the next big thing and all, but you know who else does nothing for me? Melanie Oudin. Yes, I know she'll probably grow up awesome and she made the quarters of the US Open last year and she's the best thing since the Williamses and sliced bread for American tennis and she has 'believe' on her shoes and whatnot, but I just don't feel her. I saw her play at Hopman Cup - she was playing Sorana Cirstea in a dead rubber, if I remember correctly - and even though she won, I really could have cared less. She was great at Hopman Cup for comedy value when she stood next to John Isner, but that was pretty much it.

Anyway, I'm not quite sure Oudin is going to be quite as great as everyone seems to think she is. I'm quite willing to be proved wrong on this, but I just do not feel her. No matter what her shoes say, I do not believe. And results like getting beaten 6-0 in the third by Roberta Vinci? Not helping.

...on a more positive note, you know who I really am feeling? Anastasija Sevastova. She beat Nuria Llagostera Vives in three today and I liked it. But maybe I just have a weakness for those Latvians...

Showdown - Show Up, Throw Down

So the first round of Indian Wells has started for the ladies - aka the unseeded showdown to the death. Surprise, surprise, Justine Henin showed up for the showdown and threw down good, making very, very quick work of Magdalena Rybarikova. And no matter what happens after this tournament, JuJu should have, like, a ranking. That will be sweet.

...but if I were seeded and in that quarter, I would be quaking in my high-ranked boots.

There were quite a few people who showed up and threw down at this no-seed showdown, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that one of them was Alicia Molik. I haven't been too impressed with the Molik comeback - as far as comebacks go, the bar has been set pretty high, and she's limboed under it without even trying thus far. But she was totally fierce in her win over Tatjana Malek - one and three - and I've been force to reevaluate my assessment. Looks like there's some life in Alicia yet - so keep proving me wrong, Alicia, and win some more stuff!

Someone who got shown up and thrown down, however, was fellow Aussie Jelena Dokic, who got totally pummelled by Vera Dushevina. I never know what to prescribe for poor Jelena except bed rest - she always looks so completely exhausted. But not to worry, Jelena. I still like you.

Oh yeah, and there were those Laureus Awards. And stuff. Hurrah for Serena and Kim, winning their awards - but I think we can all agree that R-Fed got ripped off. Hello, he became the greatest player in the history of his sport last year. Can anyone top that? I THINK NOT.

Dreaming Anastasia

Now, here is something I completely forgot to write about last week, what with all the shenanigans of Davis Cup... and also because the women's tour is not so interesting right now. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, a personal favourite of mine, won a tour title - a tour title which I am pretty sure is her first - in Monterrey.

Coming right on the heels of Ernests Gulbis' first tour title, this makes me feel very vindicated. Pavlyuchenkova was an extraordinarily talented junior - I think she won a good half dozen junior Slams - but she came up at the same time as Alize Cornet, who obviously bloomed a little earlier. However, you'd be excused for saying 'who?' about Cornet at the moment - seriously, when is the last time she won a match? whereas Pavlyuchenkova has made some good steady progress.

I'm pretty sure it was Indian Wells last year where she made the semis - either there or Miami, anyway. That was her really big coming out party, the first really epic result she had on tour. However, she's been making good progress for a while now - she's very much a slow and steady wins the race sort of player in that sense.

But I was super glad to see her win this title in Monterrey because she really is incredibly awesome. In my mind, she really will be the next successor to that uber-Russian crown that Sharapova and Dementieva and Safina and Kuznetsova and Zvonareva and all those kids toss around among themselves. She's mentally steadier than more than a few of the players on that list and if she keeps progressing the way she is, she can do pretty much anything. And it's not as if she beat a whole crowd of nobodies in Monterrey - she ran up against Daniela Hantuchova in the final and lost the first set badly before gritting it out in three. That's some toughness right there.

Considering Indian Wells (I think) was her first breakout last year, I'll be interested to see how she backs that up - that can often be a test. But let us just say this - Jodi's picks are starting to come good. Now if only Sabine Lisicki could get her arse into the top ten and Gulbis could keep winning stuff, I could legitimately be a super genius.

Blood From a Stone

...and then there's the other big story out of the weekend, which is that Great Britain was defeated by Lithuania in the playoffs way down the scale. This pretty much ensures that ol' GB will fall even farther down in those subsidiary groups.

This, at the outset, seems quite unusual, on account of Britain having a top ten player. But I think this goes to show that one man does not a team make. If Andy Murray does not play, well, Britain are rightly where they are. They have a few subsidiary players, but no one marvellous. They belong with the Lithuanias of the world. That is where they are at, talent-wise, at the moment.

Which is why I find it so perverse that people are out for blood.

I mean, sure it sucks for British tennis that Britain is losing. But that is just the way it goes. There is just not the talent in Britain at the moment to be a gun Davis Cup nation. If you want to look at something, look at the way you're grooming your juniors. Look at your talent scouting processes. But firing the coach or a whole bunch of people is not magically going to make the team you have play better. There is no quick fix.

There is no short term solution to a lack of immediate talent. The only thing you can do is look at how you are finding and developing talent. We see the same thing in Australia - this is why there is so much pressure on the shoulders of Bernard Tomic. We want there to be someone awesome, and we want them now.

But the reality is that sometimes your stable is full of awesome players, and sometimes all the talent was born into another country. And you can fire as many people as you want - it's not going to fix anything. You cannot get blood from a stone.

Big Damn Hero

Some more on Davis Cup, because you know what? I forgot to write about the real star of the Davis Cup weekend, the real story, the real big damn hero.

David Nalbandian, take a bow.

A browse through the back archives of this blog will reveal that I don't often warm to Bandy, though I think he's an important dude to have in the game. He went out in, what, May? last year, and apart from a couple of sporadic appearances, hasn't been in the game since. He's not the youngest player on the court any more and I, to tell the truth, was expecting that a retirement announcement might not be so far fetched.

But no. Bandy might still have some injury woes, but he's still Bandy. And did he bring it or did he bring it for Argentina? I'll answer that - he brought it. It can't have been anything even resembling easy, having a vital rubber on your shoulders when your body is betraying you - and to double up from doubles and play (and win) that crucial singles rubber? Nothing short of awesome.

Argentina should be proud of you, Bandy. Even when you're practically in a wheelchair, you've still got the cojones to step out on that court and be a big damn hero. Respect.