Perfect Match

So I'm checking my email today like any normal person would when I come across an email from Tennis Australia. Not unusual - I'm on their mailing list, I get emails from them all the time. But this one was a little... different.

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'Who is your tennis perfect match?' it asked. Intrigued, I clicked, wondering if the trashy title was really some witty cover from an actual tennis story... given as this is my usual technique. But no. It was a link. To a multiple-choice quiz that enabled you to discover which tennis player was your 'perfect match.'

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Questions included things like your reaction to getting fired, which type of guy you would approach at a party, your ideal date, how you'd like a man to dress, a man's most important quality, and your 'dream of a man.' My reaction? I hope to God that this is something someone at Tennis Australia found somewhere - that is, I hope they spent no time or money putting it together. Because they have a friggin' GRAND SLAM to organise.

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Not that I don't appreciate the lighter side of tennis - I love the offcourt segment that Tennis Australia does each week, just like I love the offcourt goss on Down the Line! But this is beyond fun. This is trashy. It's funny, yes... but with the Aussie Open just round the corner, I hope dearly that it's a flip, 'oh, this is amusing!' thing, because if they spent money on that that they could have spent on something good I will be so annoyed. There's already an obscene amount of money being pumped into this ridiculous 'Day on the Baseline' thing. People should not need the encouragement of Gabriella Cilmi and whomever else to come to the tennis. Is not the tennis enough attraction for that? SPEND THE MONEY ON THE TENNIS, DAMN IT!

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Yeah, yeah, I know you're all wondering who my tennis perfect match is. But need you even ask? Do you think it would seriously be anyone other than Roger?

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...though I confess that I did take it a second time and rigged it so I would get Marat...