Karma's A Bitch

So a little thing known as 'nothing' happened in the tennis world today. I can't even rabbit on and on about how Nadal and Djokovic are all on streaks and stuff, because neither of them played. Sigh. I come back after my Easter break and this is how you reward me, tennis world?

I should just write about the royal wedding. But don't worry, I won't.

Um... Viktor Troicki lost at the Djokovic Open, which I bet does not make him happy at all. Not that I care very much about his emotional state on account of how I think he's a douchebag, but this is not a good sign for him going into the hardcore clay season. Sure, he lost to a Spaniard, but come on, it was Marcel 'most boring player alive' Granollers. Troicki will have to pick up his game if he wants to do anything this season.

Speaking of Spaniards, Fernando Verdasco won a match in Estoril. Excuse me while I go and fall over saying 'lawks a mercy'. To be honest, I think being out of the top ten is the best possible thing that could happen to him. Less pressure, maybe a little underdog-i-ness... couldn't hurt. Probably what he really needs is for people to stop going 'Fernando Verdasco won a match, lawks a mercy', but let's be honest... that is just not going to happen.

And also what he needs to do is not play Milos Raonic again for a while, but guess who is looming up large in that Estoril draw... This is karmic punishment for that 'real tennis' quip. You know it is.

... what else has happened?

Oh yeah, Vera Zvonareva has split from that incredible gorgeous romance novel cover model coach of hers. WHY, BEPA, WHY?! I wonder if #bringbacksergey would succeed where #wildcardformahut failed....

Fast Five

I am back! I am sure you missed me. Please, who wouldn't miss me and all that insightful commentary I make? I mean, I LOVE ROGER'S HAIR and MAHUT IS AWESOME are key contributions to the world of tennis, n'est-ce pas?

Right. Let's ease back into things with a few quick stories:

1) Jarmila and Sam Groth are no more. Jarka and the GrothHawk have split up, which is a bit sad. She's back to being Ms Gajdosova now. His hair is presumably still silly. This event is probably most notable, tennis-wise, for her Twitter tirade about how she didn't marry Sam just for citizenship. Personally, I think the fact that people raised that question at all is insulting and ludicrous. Jarka does not need to be married to a man with stupid hair to play for Australia. Glad to have you, Jarka.

2) Fernando Gonzalez is back in town. I had almost forgotten about the existence of Gonzo, but I bet there were people that hadn't, like, oh, the entire nation of Chile. He chose to come back at the Djokovic - I mean, Serbian Open in Belgrade, where he beat Martin Klizan but lost to Feliciano Lopez. Winning your first match back - even if it is against someone I have personally never heard of - is no mean feat, so well done, Gonzo. Keep it up.

3) Someone who does not get a well done ribbon this week is John Isner. Ouch. That is going to hurt, rankings wise.

4) Welcome back Tommy Haas! He played doubles in Munich, his first match back in about 709838 years. He partnered Stepanek and they lost in a match tiebreaker, but it is so good to see Herr Hotness back on the court.

5) Grigor Dimitrov seems to have had something resembling a 'breakthrough', though I would not go counting chickens, you hear me. He beat Marcos Baghdatis, and the way people are talking about it, you'd think he beat Rafa in straight sets in the final of Roland Garros. Of course it's cause to be optimistic, but slow your roll, people, honestly. He's not exactly Milos Raonic yet.

The I-Don't-Want-To-Say-Renaissance of Ana Ivanovic

One tournament does not a comeback make. One string of wins does not equal a Renaissance.

But when you've been winning as few matches as Ana Ivanovic - when those wins have come so few and far between - then a tournament like Rome can herald the beginning of a whole new player. Of course, it can also be an enormous fluke, so here's hoping that's not the case - for Ana's sake.

But I like the way she's playing. I know Vesnina was, well, Vesnina, and Azarenka was injured, and Dementieva didn't turn up, and now Petrova went all shank-happy, but still Ana hasn't cracked. I wouldn't be prepared to say that she's been undoubtedly 'winning' her matches, but she hasn't been handed them on a silver platter, and, most importantly, she hasn't lost them. The WTA can be, and has often been of late, a game not of who wins but of who loses first. And Ana - well, Ana is great at losing first.

But this week? Not so much.

I don't really like her chances of coming through Maria Jose Martinez Sanches, but I wouldn't rule it out, either, and a week ago, I would have ruled it out for sure. So this is a good thing. This is progress. And progress is good. Progress is how you get to a Renaissance.

It's been a merry day for the Serbs, with Djokovic progressing in Belgrade and Jankovic going absolutely mental on Venus, hammering her into the ground. This is the best she's played in a long, long time. But I want to reserve my final praise today for another Serb - young Filip Krajinovic. He's had his first ATP wins this week and he deserves it roundly - he has some excellent, excellent game going on!