Bye Bye Berdie

I am sure I am not the only one to have dreamt up this hilarious sylleptical play on words about Tomas Berdych's loss. But that doesn't make his loss any less... stupid.

I said it yesterday (about something else) and I'll say it again – is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Was Tomas Berdych seriously two sets up over French journeyman Stephane 'SteveBob' Robert before losing? Was he also up a break in the fifth? What has happened?

I can't say I'm especially sad about this turn of events – not only is it always a bit exciting to see a home-grown journeyman like SteveBob pull out the goods, I'm not exactly Big Berd's biggest fan. But considering he made, what, semis here last year? This is a dreadful result. The top ten really is in a state of flux right now. People talk about the decline of Federer, but one feels like they're not looking at the players ranked directly below him. Get down in the #6-10 range and it's getting hard to find someone who can keep the ball in the freaking court.


Before 2010, Tomas Berdych was thought of as a missed opportunity – an immense talent who never came good. And then suddenly it seemed like he did come good but making Roland Garros semis and the Wimbledon final and generally playing awesomesauce. But... yeah. I can't help thinking that Berdych might yet go down in the history books as a flash in the pan yet.


Let us spare a moment, however, to completely ignore the downfall of Big Berd and heap congratulations on SteveBob. That is some mental toughness right there. You do not beat a top ten player – much less one to whom you are two sets down – without a heart the size of a planet and a mind made of steel. Keep it up, SteveBob. And may your fellow French journeyman Monsieur Nicolas Mahut play as awesomely as you.


Berdych was the big upset of the day – mostly, the usual suspects made it through. Djokovic was in cruise control and Federer played some seriously good stuff to come up with the goods against Feliciano Lopez. The women were mostly pretty staid as well, apart from Anastasia Rodionova upsetting Nadia Petrova. I'd say something about it... but I can't think of anything to say, so let's just leave it.


The other name to go crashing out, though, was Milos Raonic, who went down right at the end of the day. Somewhere, Fernando Verdasco is cackling...

Karma's A Bitch

So a little thing known as 'nothing' happened in the tennis world today. I can't even rabbit on and on about how Nadal and Djokovic are all on streaks and stuff, because neither of them played. Sigh. I come back after my Easter break and this is how you reward me, tennis world?

I should just write about the royal wedding. But don't worry, I won't.

Um... Viktor Troicki lost at the Djokovic Open, which I bet does not make him happy at all. Not that I care very much about his emotional state on account of how I think he's a douchebag, but this is not a good sign for him going into the hardcore clay season. Sure, he lost to a Spaniard, but come on, it was Marcel 'most boring player alive' Granollers. Troicki will have to pick up his game if he wants to do anything this season.

Speaking of Spaniards, Fernando Verdasco won a match in Estoril. Excuse me while I go and fall over saying 'lawks a mercy'. To be honest, I think being out of the top ten is the best possible thing that could happen to him. Less pressure, maybe a little underdog-i-ness... couldn't hurt. Probably what he really needs is for people to stop going 'Fernando Verdasco won a match, lawks a mercy', but let's be honest... that is just not going to happen.

And also what he needs to do is not play Milos Raonic again for a while, but guess who is looming up large in that Estoril draw... This is karmic punishment for that 'real tennis' quip. You know it is.

... what else has happened?

Oh yeah, Vera Zvonareva has split from that incredible gorgeous romance novel cover model coach of hers. WHY, BEPA, WHY?! I wonder if #bringbacksergey would succeed where #wildcardformahut failed....

The Roddick Gateway

We very nearly could have had exactly the same winners on the ATP tour this week as last week, if Andy Roddick had not carelessly (or probably carefully, actually) got in the way. I don't know how often this happens, but I'm going to venture 'not often'. And this week it was not to be.

Nicolas Almagro and Robin Soderling completed the first two points of the triangle - I am very glad that Soderling won in Marseille, by the way. If my beloved Nico M is going to get beaten, I would rather it was by some dude who's genuinely excellent than anyone else. And the Prince of Clay, Nicolas Almagro... well, he's making good on the nickname, and that is for sure.

Anyway. So we had Almagro (check) and Soderling (check) but Raonic, who would have made it a three-from-three, went and lost to Roddick. Three sets it took - though it easily could have been two either way, as the first two were pretty intense breakers - but Roddick it was who came out on top. Yoda I am talking like today. I am, oh yes.

I feel a bit bad about it, as I probably should be rooting for the underdog, but I'm glad Roddick came out on top today. Even though it is, as I said yesterday, like a spaceship with jet thrusters rather than a bandwagon, I'm just not on board with Milos Raonic yet. Probably the spaceship is going too fast for me to catch up on. If Raonic was to add a top ten scalp to his already growing bag of scalps - a scalp that is not the questionably mohawked scalp of Fernando Verdasco, that is - then I don't know if I could deal.

Roddick represents order in the tennis world. He's a top ten fixture. He exists in my world to place regular beatdowns on the guys ranked below him and to get shellacked by Roger Federer. He's the intermediary between the two worlds - the gateway, if you like. If you beat Roddick, then something serious is going down. It's not like beating Verdasco or one of the other top ten ne'er do wells - I'd place players like Berdych, who is (I think) ranked higher than Roddick in this category. Roddick is consistent. Roddick has been in the top ten for about a hundred years and stayed there. If you beat Roddick - especially if you start beating him regularly - well then, you could be launching an assault on the top guys. Or at least getting some wins against them.

Milos Raonic isn't there yet. The Roddick door is closed to him. And for me, maybe this is good. If he's going to get on board, I need his bandwagon to go a little slower.

O Canada

I am back! If you were really hanging out for a dose of highly uneducated, highly biased opinions de la moi about tennis (along with some bad Franglais) then you have come to the right place.

And today we're talking about Canada. Firstly, I'd like to point out that I'm going to a conference there in May and I'm a bit excited about it. But that has nothing to do with tennis. And they appear to have a lot of that in Canada, all of a sudden.

Remember when Canadian tennis was all Daniel Nestor with a soupcon of Frank Rhythm-is-Dancevic, because I do. It was, like, six weeks ago. But since then, some kid named Milos Raonic has made the fourth round of the Australian Open, then two consecutive finals, won his first title, might win his second against Roddick, and has jumped over 140 places to be ranked #37 in the world. Oh, and he has something like 330 points to defend... for the rest of the year. Um, hello top 20. Like, next week.

Please, someone. Someone who watched Milos Raonic last year. What has he done? What has changed? What is the magic ingredient that's turned Raonic from a #150-odd-ranked journeyman into the next big thing? Between him and Sascha Dolgopolov, we seem to have the second coming of tennis right here.

I was determined not to jump on the Raonic bandwagon. Even now, his game - heavy on the aces - is not particularly appealing to me. But with the rocket ride he's taken up the rankings, it's pretty hard not to be on the wagon now. It's not even a wagon. It's some kind of eight-horse-powered alien invasion spaceship with jet thrusters that's trying to take over the world.

And Raonic isn't even the only Canadian who has taken a one way ride to awesometown. He's been the most meteoric, but following along quietly (but not that quietly) behind him is Rebecca Marino. I'd never heard of her before this year, but then went and pushed Francesca Schiavone all the way at the Australian Open and now she's in the Memphis final. And that is - well, that's just totally awesome. And she is a quality tweeter. Top ten. Easy.

I don't know how much credit Canada itself can claim for its sudden success, unless they put something in the water over off-season. But they have reason to be very proud of their young 'uns. Canada has suddenly - and quite unexpectedly - become a force to be reckoned with... at the Hopman Cup, if nowhere else!

There's Something About Milos

I didn't want to. I didn't want to be the person that jumps on every bandwagon I see. I was determined to be the one person in the world who wasn't screaming and shouting OMG MILOS RAONIC FOR EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE! I was going to be the lone dissenter, the annoying cynic in the corner, the one that was determined it was all a fluke. In my mind, Milos Raonic was the second coming of Casey Dellacqua.

And then he had to go and win San Jose. Beating a top ten player in the final. (I mean, sure, it was Fernando Verdasco, but still.) And now I have to get on the bandwagon or risk being left behind.

Raonic has a singularly spectacular serve. I think Verdasco described him as having the body of a 12-year old... and then still firing down serves at 240km/h plus. Which is, like, a bit fast and stuff. But there are plenty of players with massive serves and not much else. This is the category I was determined to pigeonhole Raonic in.

But it looks like he's a bit more than that.

Problem is, I can't quite put my finger on it.

I think I'm going to have to watch him play a bit more, because there's obviously a little bit of something something going on with Milos. You don't jump from #156 to #59 in the rankings just like that because you have an enormous serve. I mean, he's obviously had an enormous serve for a while now. He might have grown into a bit, but there's just not enough time for there to be such a massive difference between 2010 and 2011. The off-season isn't long enough. Something's clicked for Milos. Something's suddenly started going right. I just can't work out what it is.

Maybe it's not his game at all. Maybe it's in his mind. Looking at the San Jose final, it certainly seems like Milos has quite a bit going on upstairs. We can't all be blessed with the iron mind of Rafael Nadal, but when you rally from 6-2 down in a breaker to grab a set, you are strong in the head. That's just the way it is. Your opponent can really only make so many mistakes.

And then there's the fact that Milos only dropped serve once in four matches. No matter how good your serve is, it's hard to hold your serve that consistently. Like, mega hard. Ask Isner and Mahut.

But has something come together in his game? What's the magic ingredient that I'm missing? Because it looks to me like the dude was losing a lot and now he's winning a lot... and I can't work out why. I must know the why. Because there is clearly something about Milos.

Sorry. Couldn't resist the wordplay. No matter how bad it is.