The Good, The Bad and the Frankly Ugly

So, um, the tennis that's going on this week is incredibly, incredibly boring. The one result that interested me (even just the tiniest bit) was in Zagreb, where inked up Austrian bad boy Daniel Koellerer beat cutie-patootie Andrey Golubev in three sets. Andrey had some great wins in the Australian summer and I hope his mojo wasn't as fleeting as tennis down under. Because he was rocking some great stuff down here.

Though what's going on in men's tennis right now is certainly more interesting than women's tennis. It's Fed Cup this week, and it hasn't started yet. Cue yawnfest.

So... guess what we're going to talk about. I do believe that yes, once more, it will be the Australian Open.

I discussed what we had learned yesterday - which was basically that Serena aside, the women's tour was weak, and that Roger Federer was still light years ahead of the men's pack, despite there being some very good boys in there. But let's go in a bit more depth and look at some individuals.

Winners out of this tournament? Roger and Serena, obviously. They totally justified their #1 spots. I've talked about them a heap over the past few days, so for now I'll keep it brief: thumsb up.

Major winners also include Justine Henin, comeback queen, and Marin Cilic, who is proving his worth. Look for both JuJu and Red Hot Cilic Peppers to go deep at tournaments (probably Slams this year). Other winners include, in my opinion, Andy Murray, who may not have gone the distance, but he made the final and played some excellent stuff; Ivo Karlovic and John Isner, who proved they had games beyond massive serves; Nicolas Almagro, for match entertainment value; and Li Na and Zheng Jie, because hello, awesome for Chinese tennis right there. Also epic win - Hit For Haiti. The whole thing.

But now the juicy stuff. Disappointments.

Novak Djokovic. For somehow having an excuse every time he loses a major match. He didn't retire this time, but seriously, he has the constitution of a delicate flower.

Ernests Gulbis: I've been on your bandwagon a long time, dude, and you're giving me nothing here.

Sabine Lisicki: You're so talented, girl - and you went out to Alberta Brianti? What was going on there?

Russian women's tennis: Lena D has been the only one of any consistency in the girls lately, and she ran into the redhot JuJu in round two. Safina was injured, but when the Russian going furthest in the tournament is Maria Kirilenko, something is up.

Maria Sharapova: See above.

Serbian women's tennis: Not even touching this one.

Robin Soderling: Dude, if you throw away your awesome year last year for a string of badnesses, I will be very, very cross. You hear me?

Bernard Tomic: You can play tennis, kid, but SHUT THE HELL UP. And while you're at it...

Bernard Tomic's dad: SHUT THE HELL UP ALSO.

I'm sure there are more - but I have to have something to talk about over the next few days! So fill me in, guys - who were your winners and losers of the Australian summer?

No Name Alert

Ha ha ha, I bet the organisers of Dubai are absolutely wringing their hands with despair. Not only is Andy Murray, one of their last great drawcards, out of the tournament, he's out with a walkover - so he didn't even play. Another great player promised, another not delivered. That's four huge names now out - Federer, Nadal, Murray and Roddick.

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So can Djokovic carry the profile of the tournament? He's a pretty big name, but when you consider that we've had a Federer/Nadal final (aka. the ultimate final) in this tournament before and should have been on that track again this year, I'll bet the organisers are weeping silently into their dinner plates.

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At least the other three guys left - Ferrer, Simon and Gasquet - are not total no names. If you had total randoms there, I'd bet there'd be a lot more weeping.

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Speaking of no names, who is this Daniel Koellerer? And Leonardo Mayer? I've vaguely heard the names before, but I definitely couldn't put faces to them or tell you anything at all about them, but now they're both in the quarter-finals at Acapulco. I (probably unlike the organisers of Dubai) like a good no name here and there, so I'll keep a bit of an eye on them. I'm always looking for new inductees into my Stars fold - and Lord knows I need one this week. As far as I can tell, the last Star standing is Jeremy Chardy... and I'm going to stop right here, before I repeat every single thing I said about Ernests Gulbis yesterday.

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Oh, actually, I lied. One more thing. Very nice to see Agnes Szavay doing well in Acapulco. I had her earmarked for success a while back, and then she seemed to disappear - she's in this tournament as a lucky loser, case in point. I'd like to see her realise her potential - and prove me right.

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Today's Results

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Barclays Dubai Tennis Championships (Dubai)

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Novak Djokovic def. Marin Cilic, 6-3 6-4

Richard Gasquet def. Andy Murray, walkover

Gilles Simon def. Fabrice Santoro, 7-6 (7-3) 6-1

David Ferrer def. Igor Andreev, 7-5 6-1

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Abierto Mexicano Telcel (Acapulco)

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Men's Draw

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Gael Monfils def. Thomaz Bellucci, 7-6 (7-4) 6-7 (5-7) 6-1

Tommy Robredo def. Kevin Kim, 6-2 6-0

Nicolas Almagro def. Potito Starace, 7-6 (7-1) 6-7 (5-7) 6-3

Jose Acasuso def. Juan Ignacio Chela, 7-5 6-3

Daniel Gimeno-Traver def. Albert Montanes, 7-6 (7-5) 7-6 (7-5)

Martin Vassallo Arguello def. Marcel Granollers, 6-4 6-3

Leonardo Mayer def. Carlos Moya, 6-4 7-5

Daniel Koellerer def. Alberto Martin, 6-4 5-7 7-6 (7-4)

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Women's Draw

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Venus Williams def. Greta Arn, 6-3 6-7 (3-7) 6-4

Flavia Pennetta def. Pauline Parmentier, 6-1 6-3

Barbora Zahlavova Strycova def. Carla Suárez Navarro, 6-4 7-5

Iveta Benesova def. Klara Zakopalova, 4-6 6-4 7-6 (7-3)

Maret Ani def. Gisela Dulko, 7-6 (8-6) 6-3

Petra Cetkovska def. María José Martínez Sánchez, 3-6 6-4 6-1

Agnes Szavay def. Roberta Vinci, 7-6 (7-1) 6-4

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Delray Beach International Tennis Championships (Delray Beach)

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Mardy Fish def. Vince Spadea, 6-4 6-1