The Capslock of WTA RAGE

Today, I am spectacularly impressed by the main men in tennis and spectacularly unimpressed with the ladies' side of things. We had EPIC WINNAGE and then EPIC FAILAGE.

Let me elaborate.

First, the good news. Basically, the good news = the dudes. It's very unusual that you'll ever find me putting a Novak Djokovic win in among my good things, but it seems like everyone and his dog was expecting him to lose to Mardy 'Farty Dish' Fish today. Fish was the hot tip, the big pick... and instead, Djokovic coolly dispatched him in straights.

Everyone knows that I'm not Djokovic's biggest fan, but he proved why he is still near the top of the game after all these years. Kudos to you, Novak. Good job.

And then the Sod won, which fills me with frazzly terror but which is good because, hey, I like that Yoker, and Monfils won, which is cool, because I picked him to reach the semis and it makes me look a bit insightful.

Oh, and some Swissie won. Some Swissie looked pretty freaking brilliant as he put Melzer to bet in straights. And I'd like to give full credit to Melzer here, because he played some excellent tennis and never went away in the match. Federer was just awesome. And a 50% break point conversion rate? Given his usual standards, that is made of pure solid gold.

But then there were the women.

This does apply to all. Vera Zvonareva, you get an A+. You are my new favourite on this side of the draw, because you are really cool, Bepa, and you played some sweet sweet stuff against Petkovic today. You played like someone who has made the final of a Slam before and is looking to make their second one should play, and that really impresses me. You've played to your seed and no one can ask more of you than that.

...but I'm going to, because if it comes to it, I'm gonna need you to take out Caro for me. (You're cute, Domi, but I don't see you doing it.)

Caro, you're a sweet kid. You're the #1 seed and you're playing like it. BUT YOU PLAY THE MOST BORING TENNIS IN THE WORLD EVER WHY DID YOU NOT BEAT HER MASHA WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

Kudos to Caro and all, but I was really disappointed Sharapova did not make more of this. I was hoping of something of the level of Stosur/Dementieva, and I definitely didn't get it. This match was billed so highly it was always going to be a letdown, but it should have been better than that.

Oh, and then there was bit where Wickmayer lost to Kanepi, and, oh yeah, SVETA LOST. Sveta, I wanted you to win so badly I PICKED you to win, and I NEVER pick you. But could you oblige me? NO. You went down in flames to tiny Domi C, and I'mma havin' a hard time forgiving you. Less brainfarts, please?! PLEASE?!

...I'm going to stop writing before the capslock gets stuck on. But come on, Bepa. Win this half for me. I know you have it in you!