BecnLleyton

I have mixed feelings on Middle Sunday. I like that Wimbledon is so civilised and all - though, when they have a rain-decimated tournament like they did last year, they really do need to be a bit quicker to get over their civilisation and have some play. I also think Middle Sunday is good because it gives you a bit of time to sit back, take stock and assess the field for the second week. Obviously, for the ordinary schlep that only watches tennis very occasionally this isn't an issue, but it's good for crazies like me.

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And I suppose there was the final of Euro to distract us all... because my one criticism of Middle Sunday is this: it's so damn boring!

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Big congratulations to Spain for winning the soccer - I know my brothers will be happy, as they are all soccer nuts who were going for Spain. Moreover, I bet Rafa Nadal is out of his mind happy - I love reading his press conferences, where he's all sensible answering the questions, and then gets all excited whenever someone mentions the soccer. He said he was going to have all the other Spanish guys round to his house to watch it - I can just see it, him and Nando and Fidgiano all sitting round and shrieking and jumping when Torres scored that goal. (My brothers want me to marry Fernando Torres. They chose well, obviously!)

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I like hearing about the friendships on tour. I'm a girl, and I like gossip. So sue me.

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Speaking of gossip, news has just come out in Australia that Bec and Lleyton are up the duff again. I am finding it pretty hard to care. It's really hard to even think about Lleyton as a tennis player here in Australia, because he's just such a public figure. And not in a classy way. In a tabloid way. Sure, he's a wonderful sportsman, and he was #1 in the world for a while, but why has that made him so... tabloid? And it's not just the Bec factor. (His wife Bec, for those of you who haven't experienced the joys of Home and Away, is an ex soap star.) Lleyton was all over Woman's Day and New Idea way before Bec. Actually, do you remember when Bec and Lleyton got engaged? Apparently he proposed just after he lost the final of the Australian Open in 2005 to Marat Safin. Bec was doing some special performance on Dancing With The Stars the next week, and - I remember the ad so clearly! - they actually superimposed this little engagement ring on her finger and made it all sparkly. It is from Lleyton, not Bec, that tabloid stardom comes.

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Bec helps, obviously... what with that deal they did over their wedding over Woman's Day and how Bec has been their spokeswoman for, like, ever. The birth of Mia has had something to do with it as well, I feel. Actually, in many ways, Lleyton and Bec have become this kind of hybrid entity in the Australian press. You can't discuss one (usually Lleyton, because Bec doesn't do anything except be his wife and tote Mia round these days) without the other. They're this one being - BecnLleyton. I only ever read Woman's Day when I go home to Wollongong to visit my family, and there's one issue I remember reading really, really clearly. The front page said Our New Family Joy! and it had a picture of BecnLleyton and Mia, who was then maybe a year old. And was what their new family joy? It was that Mia has learned how to steal stuff out of her mother's handbag. I had trouble understanding why they were so joyful. Surely that would be annoying...?

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Not that joy (or lack thereof) is the issue. The issue is that THIS IS FRONT PAGE NEWS! I know Australia isn't a big country population-wise, but is this really the best we could come up with out of twenty million people? Lleyton Hewitt's kid is a klepto?

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This is a couple of years back now, so obviously I've left my rant a little late over that particular issue of Woman's Day - but now that Bec's pregnant again, I can only imagine what the tabloids are going to be like. I was watching whatever that morning show is that comes after Sunrise on Channel 7 the other day and they were rating the top five most ostentatious sports star weddings. (Yet another indictment on the state of news and entertainment in Australia...) BecnLleyton came second. Only Posh and Becks beat them. I remember when Mia was born... the media was insane, to say the least. And then there was the whole Logies incident...

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Does this happen anywhere else in the world? Do Novak Djokovic and Jelena Jankovic present at whatever the Serbian equivalent of the Logies is? Is Ana Ivanovic on the front cover of Serbian Woman's Day? Actually, maybe the Serbs are a bad example. I know they're massive in their local media, but there's three for them. There's only one of Lleyton. What happens in Latvia with Ernests Gulbis? Is he Celebrity #1? What's going to happen in New Zealand when they realise just how good Marina Erakovic is going to be?

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Or is this a purely Lleyton phenomenon? When Pat Rafter was the king of tennis in Australia, I don't remember anything like this. I mean, sure, he wasn't married to Hayley from Home and Away, but he was as good as Lleyton was, even if he didn't have the run at #1. What about the Swiss players? Martina Hingis and Roger Federer are certainly big figures in Switzerland - I know Roger features in quite a few Swiss ads and stuff, for coffee and insurance and stuff like that - but as far as I know, he's never presented a Swiss Logie. I can't see him and Mirka selling their wedding to a magazine either - and I don't know if news of their firstborn raiding Mirka's handbag would quite be front page news.

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So why Lleyton? Because, as far as I know, people don't even like him that much! He's rude and abrasive, and sure, he has some good qualities as a sportsman, like never giving up, but mostly what we see about him is 'C'mon!' - so much so that it's become part of the vernacular. Does 'vamos!' have the same connotations in Spain? 'Ajde' in Serbia? 'Allez' in France and Belgium? I'm running out of languages now... 'Davai?' 'Hopp?'

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I just don't get it. I don't get it at all. So congratulations, BecnLleyton. I hope you've booked your flight home for tomorrow, because even though the wonderful Monsieur Federer will probably also offer his congratulations, he will show no mercy on the tennis court. And for tennis players, even if they present Logies and sell their lives to Woman's Day, tennis is what ultimately counts in the end.

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Middle Sunday - no results!