What Makes A Champion

It will come as no surprise that I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed.

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The match has only just finished, and it will equally come as no surprise that I am crying too hard to see my keyboard. So if there are any typos, that's why - I'm relying on my ability to touchtype. I wanted Roger to win so badly. So badly. It would have meant so much for him.

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And for me.

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I know I refused to call the final. But I think in many ways I refused to call the final because I did not want to admit the possibility, the probability that Roger (my Roger) would lose. I wanted him to win so, so badly. But Rafa was so dominant, so good, such a fabulous player.

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I am glad that it is Rafa, and not anyone else, that has beaten my Roger. This loss, although it is hard to swallow, particularly with the breadstick and the bagel in there, is not as hard to swallow as the loss to Djokovic at the Australian. That does not make it easy by any means, but the pain is slightly less. And... to tell the truth, I think I knew Rafa would win.

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And that makes me feel bad. No one believed in Roger - not even me. If I could have believed a little bit more, could have had a little bit more faith in him... would it have made a difference?

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I know that it wouldn't have. My little blog is nothing compared to the vast, vast spectrum of the media. But I wish I could have believed in him that little bit more.

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I realise that this is a sentiment that is usually more associated with religion than with sport. I am not a religious person whatsoever. Federer is my hero, not my god. And I know, that unlike a god, he is fallible. I don't think I would admire him, love him quite so much if he were not fallible. Part of the immense charm of Federer is that he can take a loss like a man. 'You should never take anything away from the other guy,' Roger once said (slightly paraphrased, possibly), 'because you know I was trying my best.'

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The media were down on Roger. I wonder if that affected him? Because this is his worst loss at Roland Garros in a while. I cannot remember the last time Roger took a bagel. He wins the Golden Bagel all the time for bagelling other people, not for taking a bagel. I don't want to make excuses for him, because I know he will not make excuses for himself, but his head was not there today. What happened, Roger? Where did you go?

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That said, Nadal played phenomenally. 46 winners to 7 unforced errors is absolutely insane. I can't remember the last time someone had such amazing stats. He emulated Federer's Australian Open 2007 feat of winning the tournament without losing a set. I am so, so sad. I cannot express how sad I am. But I do not want to take any credit away from Nadal.

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If Rafa had been playing anyone else in the final, I would have wanted him to win. I would have gloried in this victory. But Roger... oh, Roger.

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I know my writing is not the best right now. It never is, when I am crying so much... and the tears have not yet abated. Perhaps tomorrow, when the pain has subsided some, I can write about the match with some clarity. Because, yes, I do intend to continue this blog. I am going to write through Halle and Queen's and all the way through the end of Wimbledon (where I once again expect a Roger/Rafa final, but this time with a different result.) I don't know if I will focus heavily on those tournaments, because I have no way of seeing them live, but I can reflect on the results and perhaps profile some of the players I have talked about this season.

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A word, before I go, on Rafa. I am so, so glad that he was the one that beat Roger, if it had to be anyone. He was such a gentleman in victory, and in some respects, he felt sad for Roger. (Though obviously not as sad as I felt, and nowhere near as sad as Roger felt.) I am glad that there is a man like Rafa about to stand behind the Federer throne, to dominate at Roland Garros. I like Rafa. I know I said I wouldn't be too disappointed if I won, and that is, to some extent, the truth. I wanted Roger to win so very, very badly - more than I have wanted anything for a long time now. History was on the line here. And I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed that he lost. But there is no one that can say Rafa did not deserve and earn this win. He is deservedly the 2008, Borg-emulating Roland Garros champion.

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Congratulations, Rafa. May you vamos for many years to come.

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I might write more about this final tomorrow, when I can actually see the keyboard... and when I am slightly more sober, because I drank a bottle of wine trying to cope with my nerves. But I would like to end with this. Roger Federer is not a champion because he has won Slams. I do not like Roger Federer because he has won Slams. I am a Federer fan because of the person he is, because of the ambassador he is for the sport, and for what he has brought me, the lessons I have learned from him and his attitude on the court. This may have been a tough loss, but Roger took it like a man. That is a lesson in and of itself. He is a great, great champion. There will never be a champion as profoundly excellent, on and off the court, as Roger Federer.

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And so I will always be a Federer fan, come what may. Because no matter whether he wins or loses, Roger Federer is always a champion for me.

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Roland Garros Results - Day #15

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Men's Draw

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Rafael Nadal def. Roger Federer, 6-1 6-3 6-0