50 Thoughts on the 2011 Australian Open

The flags have come down, the stadium is empty. The people are all gone. It is quiet. Rod Laver Arena is still. The Australian Open is over for another year. The slate that was so clean a few weeks ago has been written on, rough sketches of things to come beginning to take shape.

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It’s time to reflect. Or try to forget. Or drink. Any of the above.

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I could do some in depth analysis of the tournament and what it all means and stuff, but that sounds like it would take a lot of energy and as much fun as deconstructing is, two weeks of solid tennis really takes it out of you – even if you’re only watching and not playing. So instead of actual, like, paragraphs and stuff, let’s make a list of stuff. Stuff that I noticed, stuff that I think is cool, stuff that I think is not cool. Stuff.

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1. When Li Na is done with tennis, she needs to have a stand up comedy career where she just makes fun of her husband all the time. She is COMEDY GOLD.

2. Why haven’t I noticed how cool Li Na is before?

3. It was nice that Kim Clijsters got to celebrate her victory as Kim and not as Jada’s mum. Jada is adorable and all, but Kim did this all on her lonesome.

4. Thank you, Kim Clijsters, for that takedown of Todd Woodbridge. It was awesome.

5. I can deal with Todd Woodbridge as a commentator. I’m fine with him. Love Jim Courier, surprisingly love Lleyton Hewitt. HATE BRUCE MCAVANEY. FIRE HIM AT ONCE. HE FILLS ME WITH RAGE.

6. Novak Djokovic was genuinely the best player on the men’s side this fortnight and was definitely due another title.

7. I had never, ever realised that Djokovic was such a speed demon. Or that he could do the splits.

8. Djokovic has improved over the years. He is no longer my most hated player. I’m never going to be a fan, but am glad to see he’s maturing.

9. I look at Djokovic, all I can see is Bert from Sesame Street. Or Screech from Saved By The Bell. Can’t help it.

10. There is a real chance Andy Murray might be the next Ivan Lendl.

11. There is a real chance Andy Murray might be the next Dinara Safina.

12. Dinara Safina is indeed the player I feel most sorry for all tournament.

13. Except for maybe Svetlana Kuznetsova, because NO ONE deserved to lose that match.

14. Francesca Schiavone is a FREAKING LEGEND. Seriously, how awesome is she? She rocks the kasbah.

15. Just because Caroline Wozniacki was funny in press conferences doesn’t mean I like her game any better.

16. I think Ekaterina Makarova really might be something in the next couple of years.

17. Same goes for Aleksandr Dolgopolov.

18. Actually, how freaking awesome is Sasha D? I am filled with so much Dolgopolove right now. Any man who is man enough to wear an Alice band is a man indeed.

19. I never realised how much I loved Rafa till he went down like that in the quarters.

20. Roger Federer will always be my favourite, no matter what happens in the rest of his career.

21. That said, the rest of his career is going to be pretty damn sparkly.

22. The world unfairly maligns David Ferrer. He is much more awesome than people give him credit for.

23. One good semi final does not a career make. Fernando Verdasco is the anti-Ferrer.

24. I’m not quite ready to jump on the Milos Raonic bandwagon yet. Sorry.

25. I am, however, quite ready to jump on the Anastasija Sevastova bandwagon, because I liked what I saw.

26. And then there’s that Dolgopolove bandwagon, which I have primo seating on.

27. And Richard Berankis, even if he got to the third round via Nalbandian-fail.

28. It was worth the Nalbandian fail to get to see that epic first round match against Hewitt. Best match of the tournament, second overall after Franlana.

29. Lleyton Hewitt is really a very good commentator. Never thought I would say this, but MOAR LLEYTON.

30. Did I mention how much I hate Bruce McAvaney?

31. Did I mention how much I hate Viktor Troicki? Because it is A LOT. I like fiery players. I’m a Safin fan. But he is vile.

32. Not just because he knocked out he of the anime-hair, Nicolas Mahut.

33. A great love of Nicolas Mahut seems to be the one thing all tennis fans can agree on. Fedophiles, Rafanatics... everyone loves Nico.

34. He should have got a wildcard to the Australian Open.

35. Sabine Lisicki should also have got a wildcard.

36. In fact, there should be an official Wildcard For Awesome.

37. Even though it failed, #wildcardformahut was an awesome experience. And it’s going to keep popping up every time he needs one.

38. I just generally think Mahut is the bee’s knees. In case you hadn’t noticed.

39. You know who else is awesome? Andrea Petkovic. There needs to be more people like Petkorazzi.

40. Petkorazzi has had an awesome summer and is due for a big rankings rise. Watch this space.

41. Likewise the tall left-handed space shaped like Petra Kvitova, because she is rocketing up so fast she will leave you in her dust.

42. Sandra Zahlavova’s screech is worse than Michelle Larcher de Brito’s. Yes, I’m saying it.

43. Venus Williams is a freaking WARRIOR.

44. Even if her dress did look like a pie.

45. Ernests Gulbis is not a warrior. I think I’m off the bandwagon.

46. Andrey Golubev was also disappointing, but there’s no way I’m giving up on him.

47. Marin Cilic was surprisingly un-disappointing. Good times.

48. Insert something vaguely complimentary (with conditions) about Bernard Tomic here.

49. Tobias Kamke is going to be so awesome so fast it will BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND.

50. We are going to miss Justine Henin so, so much.

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What would you add to the list?

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I liked the result of last year’s tournament better. Any tournament with a big fat RF on it is a tournament I love. But I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time than I did at the Australian Open this year. Good tennis, good wine, Federbitching friends... these are the things that make a real Grand Slam experience. And I was lucky enough to have all three.

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And now the countdown to Roland Garros begins, and I cannot wait. Not just because I finish work the Friday before, either...

Duck Unbroken

Well, that was a bit... anticlimactic.

Despite not having a horse in this race, I was - I confess - a tiny bit excited against this final. I thought we could see five sets. I thought we could see a real battle. I thought we would finally see British tennis break its 150,000 year old duck.

Being half a Brit myself and having a British tennis playing cousin, I was pulling for Murray tonight. A little bit. Andy Murray is emphatically not my fave. But considering Djokovic definitely isn't either, I had to pick one of them, and Murray it was.

And he was so freaking disappointing. There is a name, and the name is Safina.

Sure, Ivan Lendl took four finals to win his first one. Kim Clijsters was sitting on zero for many for a long time. But they are the exception, rather than the rule. And just like last year, the question has to be asked - will Andy Murray EVER win a Slam?

But enough of this. I don't want to be too mean. I have a British tennis playing cousin after all, and knowing what the media are going to do to Murray tonight, I don't want to add fuel to the fire.

Novak Djokovic was genuinely the best player this week. Anyone who beats a member of the Great Fedal Bromance has got something going on, and he was totally superior this week.

I don't normally break into paeans of praise for Djokovic. It is not a secret that I am not a fan. But he deserved this one. I felt, before the match, that it was Murray's turn, but once I saw the match, I knew it wasn't to be. Murray didn't play great, but that doesn't take away from the fact that Novak played awesome. Like, majorly awesome.

His defense in particular this tournament has been out of this world. I still rate Rafa as the best defender on tour, but Novak is up there in the ranks. Some of the shots he played tonight - and, indeed, this fortnight - have been incredible. He has played amazing tennis. And he has showed why he has consistently ranked higher than Andy Murray.

It's been a long time coming - congrats on your second major, Nole.

Battlers (not little Aussie ones)

This was a women's final worth waiting for.

It wasn't the match of the tournament, because hello, Franlana. Francesca Schiavone and Svetlana Kuznetsova definitely take the cake on that one. But it was a damn good match between two ladies that definitely deserved to be there.

I think what I liked most about was that it was a freaking battle. I like both women - I was pulling for Li, but Clijsters-hate, you will not find it here - so my investment in the outcome was not as major as it might have been. Instead of making me nervous (yes, Roger, I am looking at you), this time, the battle was kind of exhilarating.

After she pulled herself out of that 2-0 hole in the first set, I thought no one was going to be able to take Li Na down. She was on FIRE. Like WHOA. I'm not surprised she started a little slow - first Grand Slam final and all, but boy, did she make up for it with speed and power after that. Like CRAZY. Seriously, there are no words to describe the awesomeness of her play in the first set.

Clijsters didn't know what hit her - and faced with an opponent so obviously streaking, and to whom she had lost so recently, it would have been very easy to fall off the pace right there and let Li run away with it. But she did exactly the opposite - she stepped it up majorly.

And that is the difference between Kim 1.0 and Kim 2.0. Kim 1.0? Fragile, mentally. She did lose four Slam finals before she won one, which must have taken a toll. Kim 2.0? Made three finals, won all of them. The Second Coming of Kim Clijsters is made of stern stuff, and she showed it in this match, because with the way Li Na was playing, I didn't give her a chance. Shows what I know.

Li did fall back to earth a little. This is not to say that she suddenly played awful or anything, but no player can be on fire forever. But she was right in there - right in there the whole way. Even during the third set, where Kim got on top quite quickly, there was always a possibility that Li could come back.

Even though it was three sets, the scoreline - 36 63 63 - doesn't truly signify the battle this match was. Kim Clijsters expressed in her speech that she wouldn't mind playing more Slam finals with Li Na, and you know what? I wouldn't mind seeing a few.

And LI NA FOR A SLAM, ANY SLAM. She is made of AWESOMENESS and ADORABLENESS.

(And also, I was so happy that Kim Clijsters got to celebrate this victory on court on her own. Not that her family aren't adorable or anything, but I think it's time that we celebrated Kim for Kim, and not just for being Jada Lynch's mum. Jada is cute as a button, but Kim is so much more than this supermum label she's been tagged with! And also, can we please stop calling her Aussie Kim? Can we just let her be Belgian? WHY MUST WE TRY TO STEAL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME? Remember how that attempt to poach Baghdatis turned out?)

No Accident

If I have learned one thing from this Australian Open, it is this: never, ever underestimate David Ferrer.

I have been guilty of doing this for a long time. He's sort of my anti-Kohlschreiber - I always expect Kohlschreiber to do better than he does, and I always expect Ferrer to do worse than he does. In fact, if you asked me before this tournament who I genuinely thought I was a better player, I might have even said Kohlschreiber. David Ferrer is the ultimate under-the-radar guy.

It's amazing how he's managed to stay under the radar when he's made multiple Slam semis. I knew this, and I still continually underestimated him. I didn't even notice he was in the tournament till he played Raonic in the first round, and even then I had a mental asterisk next to him that said 'bunny'.

'Oh, he will lose to Rafa easily!' thought I. Obviously this was not to be. Sure, Rafa was injured, but he was still moving, still fighting. It must be very easy to lose to a wounded warrior - to get so excited about them being on the ropes that you forget about the business of winning the match. And Rafa, while obviously hampered, wasn't quite on crutches yet.

Ferrer kept his head. He played smart tennis, and he won - deservedly so - in straights. There was a lot of attention on how humble Rafa was, refusing to talk about his injury and giving credit to his opponent. Sure, he was very humble - it was a great press conference. But he was also right. Ferrer won this match. Full credit.

But still, thought I, 'oh, he has no chance against Andy Murray! Muzz will hand his arse to him!'

And yes, Ferrer lost. But he went down swinging like a real champion. He played amazingly to get that first set, and if he had taken that set point in the second set, who knows what direction the match would have taken?

This has been a great tournament for Ferrer. But he didn't get to the semis by accident. And I - and everyone else - need to remember that Ferrer deserves all the glory he can get. No more under the radar. Let's stand up and applaud David Ferrer.

This Is Tennis

Sometimes the other guy is just a little bit better.

And that is what happened to Roger Federer tonight. No excuses. No rhyme, no especial reason. Novak Djokovic just played better than him tonight. And that is tennis.

Federer didn't play his bestest match ever, but even if his level had been a little higher, I don't know what would have happened. Novak Djokovic played better than I have ever seen him tonight. He was a backboard in some points - I don't know what his unforced error count was, but I bet it was pretty low - and in others he ripped some spectacular winners. His forehand has long been lauded as his weaker wing - it did not seem weak tonight, when he hit crosscourt forehands with consummate ease.

His serve was a weapon. His backhand was sublime. Djokovic played like a man who deserved to win the match - and he deserved every bit of it. It's no secret that I'm not exactly his biggest fan, but there is not one element of his game I can fault tonight. He was the better player on the court, plain and simple. And after three years, it might finally be his turn again to win a Grand Slam.

It's strange to be in a world where Roger Federer does not hold a Grand Slam title - but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Roger has been on top for so long - now he has things to work towards, new mountains to climb. It can be depressing or it can be exciting, and I choose the latter. And there is a particular year in my mind - 2009. In that year, Roger didn't win the Australian Open either - but look at how it turned out.

But even if Roger never won another title ever, he would still be my favourite player ever. There is no loss that can take away what he has done and what he is.

So I can remain upbeat about this loss. He was outplayed. This is tennis. It happens. And he is the greatest tennis player ever. He has a lot of career left in which to play beautiful, wonderful tennis, perhaps win another couple of Slams, and to generally continue being awesome in.

Congratulations, Novak. All the best for the final. And Roger - we'll see you again soon.

Here Be Monsters

Today is not a tennis day that made me happy.

There is Rafa. Oh, Rafa. I didn't actually realise how much I loved you until I saw you struggling to play through pain - and it must have been a lot of pain to hamper you so badly. What a sad way for your quest for the Rafa Slam to end.

And then there is Justine, retiring for the second time. Her elbow is too fragile for her to continue. I guess we can just be grateful for the time we had.

These are obviously not exactly connected issues, so let's start with Rafa. In fact, let's start with David Ferrer, who played an outstanding match. I want to take absolutely nothing away from the killer performance he put in here. I have seriously never seen him rip so many winners. And even though I knew he was the Energiser bunny, I had no conception of how fast he was. That seriously surprises me every time.

And when you're Rafa, and you're clearly injured - even if you are being so gracious and not talking about it - the Energiser bunny, who will make you play ball after ball after ball, is the last person you want to play.

Rafa was such a gentleman about his performance. He didn't want to talk about his injury, he said, because he didn't want to detract from the performance of his opponent. Full credit here. More than full credit. This is the kind of behaviour that led him to getting the sportsmanship award as voted by the other players.

Murray's road to the final suddenly got a whole lot easier. He may have lost a set to everyone's new favourite Dolgopolov (whom we all Dolgopolove) but he is still the form player on this side by a mile. With Soderling and Nadal swept out of his path, he practically has a free ticket straight to the final. Great as David Ferrer played - and even though he has a winning record over Murray - I don't see Ferrer doing much to hurt the Muzz.

But I would have said that about Nadal, so go figure.

And then the other tragic news - the second retirement of Justine Henin. I thought there was no way she would ever come back from her first retirement, but this time it's final. Her body physically will not let her play. She can't. And so we have lost her.

I adore watching Henin. Her backhand is the most beautiful shot in women's tennis and now we have lost it forever - and when he eventually lose Francesca Schiavone, we may lose the one-handed backhand altogether. But it's not just her backhand - and her game - we're losing. We're losing Juju. We're losing everything she has brought to tennis. And she's losing her chance at a Wimbledon title.

We'll miss you, Justine. I cannot tell you how much we will miss you.

Flat Stanley

Okay, so I chose the headline because I thought it was funny. The book Flat Stanley made me cackle with mirth for many hours as a child. I actually don't think Stanislas 'Stanley' Wawrinka was that flat at all. I just can't resist wordplay.

Let me qualify. Stan wasn't playing his bestest tennis ever, that is for sure. But it wasn't necessarily his fault. He wasn't playing his bestest tennis ever because his ol' mate Rog wouldn't let him.

It's hard to play your friends. Stan talked a bit about how he had to imagine there was no face on the other side of the net. Roger clearly doesn't have the same problem - nor could he afford to, being on the top of the game and having a committed bromance with rival Rafa. But quite apart from that, it's hard to play your friends because they know all your tricks.

Roger knows Stan's tricks. He knows all about the backhand down the line, and the angled backhand crosscourt, and the backhand in general. He knows about Stan's serve and his forehand and his volleys. This goes both ways, of course, but Roger has a LOT more tricks. You just have to look at the game played at the end of the second set to know that.

In a way, because Stan knows all his tricks, Roger had to play exhibition style tennis to beat him. This is a Stan very different to Stans we've seen before - this is Lundgren!Stan, who is aggressive and not afraid to get in his opponent's face and who rips winners like whoa. It reminds me a little bit of the early days of Dinara Safina and Zeljko Krajan, actually. This is a Stan like we've never seen him before, using his gifts - his backhand in particular - and his mind to play smart tennis.

So Roger had to play smarter. He had to reach into his bag of tricks and pull out some magic. He had to pull a rabbit out of his hat. And he did. Several rabbits and a few of those really long scarves with all the different colours and oh, what's this? a straight sets win! And next to that, Stanley - even the new, improved Stanley, who did not play awful - looked a little flat.

Roger will play Djokovic next, who overcame Berdych in straight sets in the Battle of Sesame Street. (Bert vs Big Bird, in case that is unclear.) Djokovic played some scintillating stuff, though he should probably never take up a career as a poker player - he hammed up rather than played down his vision problem, and it is to Berdych's detriment that he didn't take more advantage of that. But Djokovic wouldn't let him play well, at the end of the day - he played really, really well.

And so the semi-final will be a festival of frazzles for the Federer fan!

In the ladies, Li Na is firming as my tournament favourite - she played awesomely against Petkovic and has proved she can get it done against Clijsters, who will probably be her finals opponent. And then there was Schiavone - oh, Frankie. She played so valiantly against Wozniacki - winning the first set in very stylish fashion - but fell in the end. After you play nearly five hours, this is understandable. But the heart, the courage and the willpower she displayed to stay in this match was astounding. She is the kind of player that young tennis players should aspire to be - the type of player who never, ever stops fighting.