Playing To Survive

So I was idly checking the qualifying scores in Marseille - a tournament very much in my good books at the mo on account of how they have given a wildcard to Nicolas Mahut, which obviously fills me with #wildcardformahut joy - and I was a bit struck by something. Some of the names looked very, very familiar.

'Hmmm,' quoth I, 'where have I seen these people before? Verily, I have seen their names recently!'

And then I remembered. I'd seen them in Challenger draws. Not just any Challenger draws. Draws of Challengers which are still happening.

Let's take Laurent Rochette, for example. He had a win in the first round of qualies for Marseille, a three setter. But just a couple of days ago he was in Quimper, where he made it to the third round, beating Amir Weintraub on the way. Essentially, by playing Marseille qualies, he is playing two tournaments in the same week.

Obviously, if he had gone further in Quimper, he wouldn't be playing Marseille qualies. So many decisions on the satellite tour seem to be so split second. It reminds me of that bit in Amir Weintraub's blog where he goes to Brisbane to play qualies, but then realises he has no hope of getting in, so heads straight back to the airport to head to Noumea. 'Entry lists' just don't even seem to be a thing on the satellite circuit. You just rock up somewhere and hope you have the ranking to get it. Even if that place is on the other side of the world.

And there are always more points to be made. Laurent Rochette, if he had won Quimper, would have got 80 points. He made the quarters, which garners him 15 points. But before the week is even done, he's in the hunt for more points in the Marseille qualies. It's brutal and opportunistic and crazy, but ranking points are everything.

Seriously, when do these guys sleep?

In the most recent installment of his blog (which is here, if you haven't read it), AW talks about how he's been so hungry for ranking points that he's played nine weeks on the trot and is picking up injuries like crazy. And yet, as far as I am aware, he has somehow avoided essentially playing two tournaments in a week like Laurent Rochette. People often mock Caroline Wozniacki for how much tennis she plays. The satellite tour makes her look like she spends her weeks lying about in a hammock. Seriously, they must play so much tennis.

And it can't be good for them, physically. It's nuts. But to quote AW: "All I see in front of my eyes are ranking points, points, points. I realise I no longer play to improve, but instead run and check each time which place in the world ranking some more points will take me to."

It's an uncertain life. You never know where you're going to be, week to week. The only stability - for Weintraub, anyway - is Davis Cup. Everything else is up in the air, up for grabs. Weintraub is right. The crazy points chase that dudes like Laurent Rochette is on isn't playing to improve. It's playing to survive.

Flat Stanley

Okay, so I chose the headline because I thought it was funny. The book Flat Stanley made me cackle with mirth for many hours as a child. I actually don't think Stanislas 'Stanley' Wawrinka was that flat at all. I just can't resist wordplay.

Let me qualify. Stan wasn't playing his bestest tennis ever, that is for sure. But it wasn't necessarily his fault. He wasn't playing his bestest tennis ever because his ol' mate Rog wouldn't let him.

It's hard to play your friends. Stan talked a bit about how he had to imagine there was no face on the other side of the net. Roger clearly doesn't have the same problem - nor could he afford to, being on the top of the game and having a committed bromance with rival Rafa. But quite apart from that, it's hard to play your friends because they know all your tricks.

Roger knows Stan's tricks. He knows all about the backhand down the line, and the angled backhand crosscourt, and the backhand in general. He knows about Stan's serve and his forehand and his volleys. This goes both ways, of course, but Roger has a LOT more tricks. You just have to look at the game played at the end of the second set to know that.

In a way, because Stan knows all his tricks, Roger had to play exhibition style tennis to beat him. This is a Stan very different to Stans we've seen before - this is Lundgren!Stan, who is aggressive and not afraid to get in his opponent's face and who rips winners like whoa. It reminds me a little bit of the early days of Dinara Safina and Zeljko Krajan, actually. This is a Stan like we've never seen him before, using his gifts - his backhand in particular - and his mind to play smart tennis.

So Roger had to play smarter. He had to reach into his bag of tricks and pull out some magic. He had to pull a rabbit out of his hat. And he did. Several rabbits and a few of those really long scarves with all the different colours and oh, what's this? a straight sets win! And next to that, Stanley - even the new, improved Stanley, who did not play awful - looked a little flat.

Roger will play Djokovic next, who overcame Berdych in straight sets in the Battle of Sesame Street. (Bert vs Big Bird, in case that is unclear.) Djokovic played some scintillating stuff, though he should probably never take up a career as a poker player - he hammed up rather than played down his vision problem, and it is to Berdych's detriment that he didn't take more advantage of that. But Djokovic wouldn't let him play well, at the end of the day - he played really, really well.

And so the semi-final will be a festival of frazzles for the Federer fan!

In the ladies, Li Na is firming as my tournament favourite - she played awesomely against Petkovic and has proved she can get it done against Clijsters, who will probably be her finals opponent. And then there was Schiavone - oh, Frankie. She played so valiantly against Wozniacki - winning the first set in very stylish fashion - but fell in the end. After you play nearly five hours, this is understandable. But the heart, the courage and the willpower she displayed to stay in this match was astounding. She is the kind of player that young tennis players should aspire to be - the type of player who never, ever stops fighting.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

I'd like to register my complete lack of surprise at Kim Clijsters losing to Li Na in the Sydney final. I saw Li play when I was there on Monday, and after that display against Kleybanova from Kim, well...

...I don't think it will damage her Australian Open chances at all. Indeed, I think she will go in the favourite, and she merits that. This loss might actually be good for her in a way - the way she was being talked about was as a favourite so overwhelming any misstep would have brough enormous pressure down on her head.

She has an interesting first round opponent at the Open - one Dinara Safina. Remember her? I hear she used to be #1 in the world... once upon a time. This is an awful draw for Dinara, who is trying to make her comeback... and the sad truth of the matter is that if I were Kim, I wouldn't really be worried at all. That's not a good thing to say about a former #1 in the world - but it's also a true thing.

Now, the draw has just been done, and I could spend some time looking at it and breaking it down like I often do before Slams. But a) everyone else has already done this and b) I couldn't be bothered, as I am writing this on a train, so what I will do instead is this:

Things I Find Interesting About The Draw
- Federer has a nasty second round match, whether he gets Gilles Simon or Yen-hsun Lu... not to mention his first round match, against Lukas 'I fed Rafa a bagel' Lacko.
- Hewitt/Nalbandian should be an absolute cracker... but will probably be disappointing.
- Tsonga/Petzschner is the Thinking Tennis Fan's favourite first round match up.
- There is no way in hell Caroline Wozniacki is winning the Australian Open, and I don't even particularly like her chances of getting past the first round.
- Poor Dinara.
- Will the real #4 please stand up? I love that Muzz and Sod are in the same quarter. I love it a lot.

Okay, that's done. Now onto the far more interesting bitching about the draw ceremony.

Seriously, WHO KEEPS LETTING BRUCE MCAVANEY OUT OF HIS BOX? This is why we can't have nice things. Not only is he not one of great tennis minds of our time, he is FREAKING ANNOYING. I'm sure Jeremy Chardy and Anna Chakvetadze really enjoyed being trask talked by this nasty little man. And I'm sure all the people in the room who were genuinely interested in tennis all wanted to punch him.

Because, let's face it, Ivan Lendl certainly did. I now love Ivan Lendl.

I know the draw is not the Oscars and I was not expecting it to be anything of the ilk. But please, ye powers that be, get rid of McAvaney. You have actual tennis players floating around - tons of them. USE THEM.

Maybe now #wildcardformahut has wound up (though #supportmahut still lives) I should start #firebruce...

Putting 2010 to Bed

Kim Clijsters won the year end championships, just like I said she would. Caro tried her best but when it comes down to it, her game relies on the other person making mistakes, and Kimmie just did not make enough mistakes to make it worth Caro's while.

And you know what? Kim Clijsters may well be the player of 2010 for the women. Even though she didn't have the bestest year of all the years. And that is really saying something about women's tennis.

You can't say it was Serena's year, because even though she did win two Slams, she was out of the mix for nearly the whole thing. You can't say it was Caro's year, because even though she did reach #1, she only made one Slam semi final and mostly won smaller tournaments. That leaves Kimmie by default - she won a Slam, a couple of Premier titles and the year ending championships. That's not a bad haul...

...but it feels like it should be more.

I'm not saying that there should always be someone who has a year like Rafa had this year. But the women's tour has really felt like it's flailing this year, especially in these Serena-less months.

I don't want to naysay what Kim Clijsters has achieved this year, because she's done some awesome stuff. But dominate? there's been none of that. It's really highlighted, this year, just how far above the rest of the game Serena is. She may not be #1 at the moment, but she is very, very obviously the best player around. And that is all that can be said about that.

I'm glad we've put 2010 to bed for the ladies. It was a messy, ugly affair, when all's said and done. Here's to a better 2011.

More Doha Disappointments

Well, Doha goes on, even if Elena Dementieva has gone and retired on us. And the streak of intense disappointment continues.

Seriously, these were not the results I wanted and they were both soft losses. I really had high hopes that Sam Stosur could win this tournament, but once she went down that first set to Clijsters, she just crumbled. It was a good result to get through to the semis, but really, the field was just not that good. She could do better.

But her disappointment has nothing on that perpetrated by Vera Zvonareva. Bepa, who have the ability to absolutely wallop Caro's arse. But you didn't. She lost a set 6-0. SIX LOVE. I am disgusted.

I am fully expecting Kimmie to win this tomorrow, though I think Caro needs it a lot more. But in reality, the match is never on Caro's racquet. If Kimmie plays moderately well, she has this one in the bag. Caro needs it to sort of consolidate her #1 position - if she's going to be #1 she needs to win something - but Kimmie's game is obviously superior. If she brings it.

Short Statements on Skill

Well, we pretty much have our final four. We have Caro and Kimmie and Sam and Bepa. And really, they didn't have to do so much to get there.

The only really significant match of the round robin stages - that counted anything in terms of psychological winnage, in any case - was Stosur over Wozniacki. And then she had a bit of a comedown when she lost to Lena D, even if it was in a third set breaker.

But let's stay on topic here. This has been a stunningly dull world tour finals, even by WTA standards. It's just been a big fat pile of nothing, really. Looking forward to 2011, I really hope they can lift the standard, because it's really just a whole big pile of not good.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Sam She Is

I just realised that Sveta is not in Doha. I know she didn't have a good enough year to come anywhere close to making it, but it still makes me sad.

You know who is in Doha, though? And doing awesomely? That would be one Sam Stosur, who is kicking arse and taking names. She played the only competitive match of the day yesterday when she beat Francesca Schiavone, and today she pulled a really big coup by beating Caro Wozniacki.

Caro Wozniacki may be the #1 player in the world, but she is completely vulnerable to a zoning player. Well, anyone is vulnerable to a zoning player, I suppose, but she is super-vulnerable. Her game is all based around the fact that everyone else's game is based on risk - if she can keep the ball in play, eventually the coin will comes heads instead of tails, so to speak. But when her opponent is taking the risks and the majority of them are paying off... hello, trouble.

That's what happened today. This isn't the best I've seen Stosur play, but it was pretty damn good. Nearly everything she hit went in and she hit through Caro basically at will. She had the ol' serve forehand combo working like a dream. It was great stuff. And now she has total control over the Maroon Group with only one match left to play... and when you consider that that match is against the emphatically out of form Elena Dementieva, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see Sammy's path straight into the semis.

Vera Zvonareva is on top of the White Group for now, but Kim Clijsters is also undefeated - you'd have to think that it'll be the winner of that match who wins the group. Jankovic definitely isn't going through and I'm not so hot on Vika's chances either, so you have to think that it'll be Clijsters and Zvonareva going through here. Stosur and Wozniacki have to be the picks in the other group, unless Schiavone pulls out something a bit spesh.

I just realised something. Did Venus not qualify this year? or is she just not playing? What's the deal there? This must be the first Williams-less final in some time!

And The Razzie Goes To...

Are we here already? Is it really already the end of the year?

Well, not for the boys - they still have a few weeks left before the World Tour Finals, in which three spots are still up for grabs - but it's all going on in Doha for the ladies right now. Although 'all going on' might be misleading. The WTA hasn't exactly been known for its great matches of late, and in at least two of the matches today, we had no disappointments. Or big disappointments. I was trying to put a positive spin on it, but yeah... not positive. No way, no how.

Let's start with the least disappointing of the three matches, Stosur vs Schiavone. This wasn't the greatest match ever, but both Sammy and Frankie basically held up their ends of the 'I can play tennis' bargain, and we had a match. Sam got revenge for Roland Garros and some tennis was played. End of that story.

...and then we had Dementieva. Caro Wozniacki may be the #1 player in the world. She may beat people by big scorelines sometimes, but she rarely beats them into the ground. You rarely come away from a Caro match going 'wow, that was a two hoof beatdown.'

That was what today's match looked like. And it wasn't because Caro was playing well, it was because Dementieva was playing awfully. I hear Caro asked her 'are you all right?' at the net, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if there was something messed up in camp Lena D. And I wouldn't be surprised if we see an alternate tossed in.

And they might want to make sure they have a third alternate, because I'm pretty sure the second one will be taking Jelena Jankovic's spot. Awful as Dementieva's performance was, it had nothing on Jankovic's. JJ did manage to take one more game off Bepa than Lena did off Caro, but I'd argue that her quality of tennis was... completely non existent. Yes, I think that's fair.

So, in short, two of the worst matches of the year were played in Doha today, and that's saying something. Congrats to Bepa and Caro, and especially to Sam Stosur, who won the only match which was a match, but dear god I hope the quality is better tomorrow.

Consistency Isn't Everything

People are falling all over themselves to make Caro Wozniacki's ascension to #1 okay. I can't count the amount of 'oh, but she's so consistent' etc I have read overnight. And sure, points wise, she is #1. Points don't lie.

But come on. Seriously.

You thought Jankovic and Safina were weak #1s? Safina made three Slam finals! Jankovic made one too! I know Woz has made one, but it doesn't count towards her current points count. She's only won one Tier 1 event, for heavens' sakes.

I'm not saying that Serena deserves to be #1. While she is clearly the best player in the world, if you haven't played - not her fault, obviously, but still - your name's not in the game. You have to be in it to win it, etc. But look at players like Zvonareva. Look at Clijsters. They're achieving real grown up results without playing week after week after week. Sure, they have taken a couple of weak losses, but they've followed them up with some big results.

There is a lot to say for consistency. But consistency in lower level tournaments? Consistency born of simply playing a lot? I know Caro works hard - no one is going to deny that - and consistency is something lacking on the WTA tour. But there's something seriously whack when this kind of consistency gives you a #1 ranking. Bring back Dinara.

Ninja-Off

CazWoz, you seem like a nice kid. You really do. But until you start playing more interesting tennis, you will not catch me barracking for you in a million years. I was so, so glad that Vera Zvonareva knocked you out today, and I'm not going to apologise for it.

Let's talk about Bepa for a minute. She has flown pretty much completely under the radar for this entire tournament, despite the fact that she made the final in Wimbledon and has been playing like a gun. I don't think there's one single person who picked her to make the final here - including me - and it's really satisfying that she's stood up to be counted. There's a lot of things in the future of Vera Zvonareva, but the way I see it, not once again will she ever be forgotten.

In Slams, I think you have to say that Bepa has had the second best year after Serena - she's certainly the only other person who has made two major finals, and even if she loses tomorrow that's not going to change. And you know what...? She may be the underdog, but I don't think there's a cookie tray in Bepa's future tomorrow.

Why?

Because even though she's been winning, even though she's brought it good when it's counted, Kim Clijsters is playing some of the most error strewn tennis we've seen from her in a while.

Her match against Venus today... well, she so easily could have lost that one, and Venus is going to have nightmares about those two double faults in the breaker. Similarly, Kimmie played a very error-riddled match against Stosur. She's squeaked out her last two matches, but against Bepa, who is playing spectacularly and has nowhere near the pressure that Kimmie has? Well...

I think this match is on Kim's racquet - but that Bepa will really have something to say about that. Both these players are capable of redlining their game and playing like ninjas. If it comes down to a ninja-off, I think Kimmie will win... but I'm thinking the player more likely to go ninja is Bepa, if that makes sense.

So. Yes. Excellent performance from Bepa today, not so much from Kimmie. And though I'll be happy whoever wins - I think this one just might belong to Bepa.

Whoa Tennis

Robin Soderling, I like you. You know I do. Compared to some other players, I bear you relatively little ill will for what you did to Roger at Roland Garros this year. I like watching you play and I barrack for you over at least nine out of ten other players.

That said...

REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD, BITCHES!

I am so, so glad that the Fedmeister took out this one and broke his two-Slam 'only the quarters' streak. And could I have possibly asked for more? I think not. I think I could have asked for not one iota more. Straight sets? Against the man that broke the 23-Slam semi streak? Whoa. That is all I can say.

It was whoa-tennis. Federer won 86% of points on his first serve. That is crazy talk. It is insanity. And you know what stat is my special favourite? FIVE OUT OF SIX BREAK POINTS CONVERTED. By Federer standards, that is absolutely outstanding.

I am a very happy little Federbitch right now, let's put it that way - and I am looking forward to Super Saturday with only a (relatively) small amount of frazzles! The Federer Express will be taking on Novak 'Bert' Djokovic, who has been playing surprisingly well this tournament. He played well to take out Monfils, and... he's pretty much just played well. No one expected him to get this far and he has. Kudos to him.

That said, I still don't like you, Novak. HOPP SUISSE!

Oh, and women's tennis. We have a Caro/Bepa semi. This has been a great year for Zvonareva... second straight major final, anyone? I know I'm cheering for it!

The Capslock of WTA RAGE

Today, I am spectacularly impressed by the main men in tennis and spectacularly unimpressed with the ladies' side of things. We had EPIC WINNAGE and then EPIC FAILAGE.

Let me elaborate.

First, the good news. Basically, the good news = the dudes. It's very unusual that you'll ever find me putting a Novak Djokovic win in among my good things, but it seems like everyone and his dog was expecting him to lose to Mardy 'Farty Dish' Fish today. Fish was the hot tip, the big pick... and instead, Djokovic coolly dispatched him in straights.

Everyone knows that I'm not Djokovic's biggest fan, but he proved why he is still near the top of the game after all these years. Kudos to you, Novak. Good job.

And then the Sod won, which fills me with frazzly terror but which is good because, hey, I like that Yoker, and Monfils won, which is cool, because I picked him to reach the semis and it makes me look a bit insightful.

Oh, and some Swissie won. Some Swissie looked pretty freaking brilliant as he put Melzer to bet in straights. And I'd like to give full credit to Melzer here, because he played some excellent tennis and never went away in the match. Federer was just awesome. And a 50% break point conversion rate? Given his usual standards, that is made of pure solid gold.

But then there were the women.

This does apply to all. Vera Zvonareva, you get an A+. You are my new favourite on this side of the draw, because you are really cool, Bepa, and you played some sweet sweet stuff against Petkovic today. You played like someone who has made the final of a Slam before and is looking to make their second one should play, and that really impresses me. You've played to your seed and no one can ask more of you than that.

...but I'm going to, because if it comes to it, I'm gonna need you to take out Caro for me. (You're cute, Domi, but I don't see you doing it.)

Caro, you're a sweet kid. You're the #1 seed and you're playing like it. BUT YOU PLAY THE MOST BORING TENNIS IN THE WORLD EVER WHY DID YOU NOT BEAT HER MASHA WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

Kudos to Caro and all, but I was really disappointed Sharapova did not make more of this. I was hoping of something of the level of Stosur/Dementieva, and I definitely didn't get it. This match was billed so highly it was always going to be a letdown, but it should have been better than that.

Oh, and then there was bit where Wickmayer lost to Kanepi, and, oh yeah, SVETA LOST. Sveta, I wanted you to win so badly I PICKED you to win, and I NEVER pick you. But could you oblige me? NO. You went down in flames to tiny Domi C, and I'mma havin' a hard time forgiving you. Less brainfarts, please?! PLEASE?!

...I'm going to stop writing before the capslock gets stuck on. But come on, Bepa. Win this half for me. I know you have it in you!

Low Upsettage, Big Winnage

There really has not been much in the way of upsettage this tournament. We lost our highest profile seed today in Jelena Jankovic, and I think we all knew JJ wasn't getting too far, not with the way she's been playing lately.

People might say that this takes the fun and the surprise out of the tournament, but I really like it. Sure, some early exits can be totally exciting, particularly if you get big profile seeds in tough tough matches (whether they win or not), but when you get to the second week, you really appreciate the lack of upsets.

Let's look at some of the tantalising match ups we have ahead of us. I have to say that this is the first time in my life I've been actively excited about a Wozniacki match, because I think her match against Sharapova has got to be an absolute barnburner. I think Caro will come out of it - though I would like it if MaSha did, because I appreciate her tennis MUCH more - but no matter what happens, this has the potential to be a titanic struggle. So, I am shocked to find myself saying, does Ivanovic against Clijsters, if Ivanovic can bring her best level.

Yes, I am aware that this is a big, BIG if. But still. It's possible.

And then whoever wins that Woz/Shaz match will probably face Sveta... man, that top quarter is made of win! And then there's Stosur/Dementieva - it could be the worst match ever, but it could also be intensely awesome.

And then over in the dudes, we have most of our main guys intact - with the exception of Davydenko and Berdych, we are reasonably unscathed. Certainly, the big four are all there, alive and kicking, and it is not unthinkable that all four will reach the semis. Wouldn't that be something?

But as it is, we already have some awesome matches coming up. Nalbandian/Verdasco should be great. So should Murray/Wawrinka - I really like that match up. And Fish/Djokovic! Don't even get me started on how badly I want both of those dudes to be knocked out... and we know for sure at least one of them is going.

And I could not close this blog post without noting that the awesome Mr Roger Federer straight setted Paul-Henri Mathieu. Stay cool, Rog. You da man.

There Is No Mention Of The Word Blood In This Title

Okay, so I think I'm about done with the whole blood thing. That is sooooo first round.

First thing is first - Roger Federer is through, and in style. I could ask for nothing more (though if he wants to throw in a few more tweeners, then I'm not going to complain, you know?) I didn't see any of his match against Andreas Beck, but I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy most of it. Viva la Rog!

My fangushing is over now. Let us talk about everyone else.

Match of the day, I thought, had to go to Richard Gasquet and Nikolay Davydenko. Well, maybe not match of the day per se, but superlative performance of the day - Richou absolutely massacred Kolya. If I were more derivative, I would have titled this blog post something about Kolya's blood being spilled.

This is the kind of player Gasquet had the potential to be. If he played this awesome all the time, no one would be able to stop him. He'd be a second Federer - he'd be damn near unbeatable most of the time. But alas, he hasn't realised that potential. I doubt there is a Slam in Gasquet's future. He's going to be one of those woulda shoulda coulda kind of guys. But hot damn, this was some performance today. I'm going to be reeeeeeally interested to see how he fares in the next round, because if he shows up with this kind of form.... yeesh.

Soderling and Djokovic both had much easier times of it, which was nice for both of them. Djokovic seems to be trying to set a tradition of making an inappropriate joke in all of his post match press conferences. Um... whatever, Bert.

There was one major upset on the men's side today, and that was Kei Nishikori triumphing over Marin Cilic in an absolute epic. I love Nishikori's game, so I hope he can go far - this was quite some match for him!

Now. Ladies.

1) Caroline Wozniacki is looking more and more like she might win the title. This scares me.

2) Jelena Jankovic is definitely not going to win it. This is a bit saddening.

3) Maria Sharapova and Svetlana Kuznetsova are both big contenders and whoever wins that top quarter is going to win the tournament.

4) Andrea Petkovic and Bethanie Mattek-Sands played one of the most compelling women's matches I have seen a long, long time.

Any questions?

The Spectacular Dullness of New Haven

So if Roger Federer made the final of both the biggest tournaments of the US Open series and won one of them... why is Andy Murray the winner of the series? Can anyone explain this?

Moreover, I'm pretty sure Marcos Baghdatis came second. Explanations, anyone? I just do not get it at all.

I'm really scraping the barrel for something to write about right now (duh), so I guess we have to talk about the lame tournament going on right now. That tournament is New Haven and it is spectacularly uninteresting, but let's see if I can dream up something to say.

Um...

The men's final is between Denis Istomin and Sergiy Stakhovsky, which should give some indication of the quality of the tournament. I wouldn't know who to pick there, because I don't know enough about either player - even though Istomin has been rocking that dark horse thing all year. The women's final is between Nadia Petrova and whoever wins out of Wozniacki and Dementieva.

There is a thought, actually. Why is it that nobody who is anybody on the men's side plays a tournament the week before a Slam - which seems to make sense, because you want to conserve energy, ra ra ra - but a bunch of the ladies do? The ladies who are anybody - because much as I would like to deny it, Wozniacki is anybody.

So... yep. There's a question. Answers, anyone?

Dark Horse Dinara

So... yeah... um... I don't have a lot to talk about today. It's too late for Cincy discussions, too early for US Open breakdowns, and there's not that much happening on the women's side. (Except for CazWoz being the #1 seed. What's up with that?)

Oh, I know! Here's one I heard today - Dinara Safina, dark horse for the US Open.

Now hang on just a minute. Much as I would like this to be true - no matter how wonky she plays, I just can't quit the Dinara bandwagon - calling her a dark horse for the US Open is just ridiculous. Two years ago, maybe, this would have been an excellent call. Right now...? Not so much.

That's not too say that the women's draw isn't ridiculously open, because it is. I mean, hello, Wozniacki is the top seed. Caroline Couldn't-Hit-A-Winner-If-She-Tried Wozniacki. This really is anyone's game. But suggesting that that anyone might be Safina is so far out of left field it's almost on another planet.

Fact: Dinara has been playing better of late. Fact: playing without the pressure of expectation will probably do her the world of good. Fact: she doesn't have to listen to Zeljko shouting at her any more. And if Dinara can show me some good results towards the end of the year then we might start talking about SERIOUSLY dark horse standing for the Australian Open. But right now? I'd be calling her a dark horse for the third round. A semi-dangerous floater. And not much more.

But then, of course, Kim Clijsters won the US Open last year in only her third tournament back, so what do I know?

She Who Loses Last

News item #1: I have tickets to the first week of the Australian Open! (again!) I am very excited about it! Australian Open membership is the bomb.

News item #2: Caroline Wozniacki is a serious contender for the US Open.

I don't want to think Caro is a real contender. I can't think of anyone whose game I like less. The great headcases of our game - the Ivanovics and Safinas of the world - at least they went for stuff. They might have made some spectacular errors, but at least they died trying, in a manner of speaking. Caro seems to have got to where she is by waiting for her opponent to make a mistake, and while that is obviously within the rules of the game, I don't think it's within the spirit.

But nevertheless, CazWoz is a serious contender and may well be the #1 seed, now we've lost Serena. If she keeps forcing everyone else to make mistakes before she does - like she did in Montreal this week - then she's going to be near impossible to beat. What needs to happen is that someone needs to hit her straight off the court. Someone needs to go for the lines and hit them, not just miss them. Otherwise, Caro is going to make the final again and this time go one better.

But now Serena is out, here's the question - who's going to be the one to take down the game's greatest pusher? Who is going to step up to the plate? Will it be Clijsters again? Venus? Jankovic? Kuznetsova? Someone else entirely?

Or is pushing - not losing instead of winning - going to be enough?

Just Another Manic Monday

You have to feel for Andy Roddick.

Wimbledon is, arguably, the best chance he has to win another Slam. After he lost that heartbreaker of a final last year, I'm sure he wanted desperately, more than anything, to give himself that chance again.

But it wasn't Roger Federer who took that chance away this time. Not even close.

Yen-hsun Lu is through the quarter finals - a truly remarkable achievement for the man from Chinese Taipei. And Andy doesn't even get to be the bridesmaid this time.

Sigh. Poor dude.

This really opens up the second quarter of the draw for Novak Djokovic, and it would be pretty surprising if Lu ended up in the semi final. Not outside the realms of possibility, of course, but highly unlikely. Djokovic has played himself into something resembling form this tournament - he looked quite good overcoming a spirited challenge from Lleyton Hewitt, whom many people picked to pull the upset. It'll be interesting to see how far he can go.

Roger and Rafa came through reasonably unscathed, but the same cannot be said for Robin Soderling - that was some five setter he pulled! But I think we're all counting down to that blockbuster quarter between Rafa and Robin now... will it be Roland Garros revenge? Or will Rafa reassert his dominance?

Over to the ladies, and it was a great victory for Kim Clijsters. I'm really liking her chances now - I picked her to win and I'm sticking with it. JuJu lost her way a little, but Kimmie capitalised - nice one.

And a great win for Serena over Sharapova also. And for Venus - man, Jarka played her tight! I am looking forward very much to seeing more of Jarka in the future...

The real seeded casualty on the women's side was Caro Wozniacki, who went out very tamely to Petra Kvitova. How very underwhelming.

Pathetic Fallacy

Welcome to Weel 2 at Roland Garros, where it is all happening. The skies were stormy and pathetic fallacy abounded as some of the big names of tennis crumbled under the pressure, unable to weather the storm. Count the incidences of literary wordplay in that sentence. Oh yeah.

Some people, on the other hand, had a cruise-y ride. But we're getting down to the business end, and things are getting veeeeeeeery interesting at ol' RG.

The winners: Surprise, surprise, I'm starting with Fed. He played a little scratchier than I would have liked against Wawrinka at times, but when you can come away with a straight sets victory over a player like Stan, you're doing OK. I was very happy.

He'll face the Yoker next, who's also appearing in this column (hopefully for the last time this tournament, fingers crossed fellow Fedfans!) He absolutely pulverised Marin Cilic. See above re 'when you can come away with a straight sets victory over a player like...' It is going to be on till the break of dawn in FedSod II: Electric Boogaloo.

And Nadia Petrova - here's looking at you, kid! Venus was my pick for the final from this half of the draw, and Nadz absolutely annihilated that negligee off the court. Well, maybe annihilated is a little strong, but it was a very tidy putaway. Let's just say I would now not be at all surprised to see Nadz in the final. This side of the draw isn't the strongest evah and Nadz has a good a chance as any.

The losers: Speaking of the negligee... Venus. Big time. I really thought she had what it takes to go deep this year, but looks like my hunch is wrong, wrong, wrong. Petrova is playing really good stuff (as evidenced by her appearance in the winners column) but Venus did not play a good match here. Disappointing for V. Still... I was going to say it'll get her onto the grass earlier, but it totally won't, because she has doubles. Further disappointment, then.

And Andy Murray. No one ever expects him to do that well at Roland Garros, but surely he should at least be able to play competitively with Berdych. I actually thought that was a really favourable match for Murray - I thought he could bamboozle Tomas with some moonballage - but no. Fail. Not to denigrate Berdych's achievement here, because he did good, but this was not a great performance from Muzz.

The disappointments: Jo Tsonga. It is very, very disappointing that he had to retire, not least because I picked him for the semis and now my bracket is all wrong. And it is very disappointing for the home team that is French tennis - Bartoli and Rezai did not exactly exceed expectations, and then their last hope caved to a back injury.

Get well soon, Jo.

The scraped-in-by-the-skin-of-teeth: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Caroline Wozniacki. I have actually been totally pleasantly surprised by Caro this tournament - I foresaw an early exit for sure. But in this weaker half of the women's draw, she actually stands a decent chance of getting through to the finals. The finalist is going to be either Caro, Nadz, Lena D or Schiavone - not all outside the realms of possibility, but not my initial picks, that's for sure.

And though it wasn't quite skin-of-teeth, I have to talk JuJu here. I thought MaSha had her when she went up that break, but JuJu staged an awesome fightback. I'm sad for MaSha - playing like she did, she deserved better than a third round. But then again, so did JuJu.

One to watch: Mikhail Youzhny. He is creeping through this draw very quietly - surprising, given his propensity for bashing his own head with his racquet. Now he's facing Berdych for a spot in the semis. This would be a big career jump for both of them - Youzhny has been to Slam semis once before, Berdych never - and it'll be interesting to see who comes out alive. I can't tell you why, but I'm like the headbanger on this one.

Get A Roof!

If there was one thing to take away from Day 4 at Roland Garros, it was this - GET A ROOF. Seriously, why is it that Australia, the Slam where it hardly ever rains, has two (soon to be three) of the things, and Roland Garros has none? When Wimbledon is ahead of the times you know something's a little interesting.

I know there's a lot of talk about Roland Garros moving sites - personally, I hope that doesn't happen, because this site is great, but how about a bit of the ol' upgrade? Melbourne Park is currently undergoing an AUD$363 million upgrade - surely Roland Garros can spring for a roof for Philippe Chatrier. I'm sure Wimbledon will give them the name of the guy they used.

But despite all this rain, there was actually some tennis - so without further ado...

The winners: The Yoker is coming through the draw like a hot knife through butter and I'm surprised people aren't talking about it more. He was on and off court in something like 71 minutes, which is obscenely quick. I will be very much surprised if he does not make it to the quarters (where I am hoping he will be stopped by Federer), because he is looking very, very good. He might have peaked a touch too soon, but we shall see, we shall see...

Speaking of winners, after a slow first set, Roger Federer is also in this column. Definitely a much better match than that four set nailbiter he played with Jose Acasuso last year.

Over with the ladies, I'm very surprised I'm saying this, but I am super impressed with Caro Wozniacki. She's not normally the type of player who closes out matches quickly, but she's had two quick matches now. Maybe this injury cloud hanging over her head has been good in a way, because it's forcing her to pull the trigger a little earlier and be more aggressive.

And also, no one's talking about her, but Nadia Petrova. Watch out for her!

The losers: Andrea Petkovic. Anyone that holds four match points (or, indeed, any match points) and then loses the match has got to be absolutely kicking themselves, and I'm sure this is exactly the case with Petkovic. It would have been an upset if she beat Kuznetsova, but she had her in the palm of her hand and still couldn't close it out.

Also, Lucie Safarova. I thought she was going to go a long, long way and then she went and lost to Polona Hercog in straights. This is a big time loss, because Safarova had the draw to go a long way. It's going to be really interesting to see who comes out of that side of the draw, because I just cannot pick it at all.

The disappointments:I have to put Gisela Dulko here. To go from beating Azarenka to losing to Chanelle Scheepers (yeah, I don't know who she is either) is fiercely disappointing.

I also have to put Taylor Dent here, because as brilliantly as Robin Soderling played, Dent played horrifically awfully. Seriously, dude, with your serve, you should be able to win more than two games in a best of five set match, even when your opponent is top ten. Really disappointing showing here.

The scraped-in-by-the-skin-of-teeth: As if I would go past Sveta on this one. She clawed this victory by the skin of her teeth, and I'm still not quite sure how she did it. Kudos to her, though. I love watching Sveta when she's playing well, and I'm really hoping she has sort of played herself into form. I would love it if she could come anywhere close to defending her title. Am not in any way expecting this to happen, but it would be awesome.

Story of the day: Jo-Wilfried Tsonga going apesh*t at tournament organisers about scheduling. I have to admit I don't have a lot of time for these kinds of temper tantrums - sure, it might put you out to have to play on Sunday, but suck it up, dude! But I am not a tennis player, so maybe I don't understand how difficult it is... and in any case, the tantrums are always mildly amusing, in a watching-a-train-wreck kind of way.

And the other story of the day is LightGate with Monfils and Fognini. Monfils nearly made the worst decision ever when he asked to push on at 4-all in the fifth... it will be interesting to see who comes out of this. I expect to be Monfils, but I would not be surprised if Fabio Fognini surprised him...