Who Needs Steffi?

Today marks the third day in a row that I've talked about women's tennis here. IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY?

I wouldn't expect it to become a regular thing (unless the WTA suddenly becomes extraordinarily interesting), but the WTA really is a little more happening than dudeworld this week. Except for Juan Carlos Ferrero, who is rocking the kasbah. Welcome back, mosquito.

But yes. Ladies.

By my calculations, we have four German ladies in the quarters of Stuttgart. Sure, it may be a home tournament and the home ground advantage may be in play, but that is one hell of a result. And also one hell of a Fed Cup team. Where have Germany been? Seriously, it's all 'Steffi Graf, we miss her, if she came back she'd be in the top five BOOM like that', but Germany are doing pretty well all on their lonesome.

We've got Petkovic. Goerges. Lisicki. Barrois. And she's not in this tournament as far as I can tell, but there's also Groenefeld. That is not a line up to be sneezing at. And the fact that these four are in the quarters of Stuttgart is not sneezeworthy either, because although it's not exactly the fifth Slam, this is not a Mickey Mouse field. The other four people in the quarters are Zvonareva, Stosur, Radwanska... oh yeah, the world #1 Wozniacki. Germany is holding its own. (It's also worth noting that between them, these four German ladies beat Jankovic, Bartoli, Azarenka and Li. If this is not quality, then I do not know what is.)

It doesn't really matter whether or not one of these German ladies wins Stuttgart - although if my beloved Sabine Lisicki were to do it, I would be super happy. Whatever happens from here - whether all four of them make the semis or none of them do - this is a fantastic result. Germany has suddenly, seemingly from nowhere, become the dark horse powerhouse of women's tennis. Russia aside, it's hard to pick out who has a stronger ensemble act - and a better choice of ladies to pick from for Hopman Cup.

They may not be in the finals this year, but look out for this German squad in years to come. If they can all stay uninjured and keep playing this way... well, who needs Steffi?

50 Thoughts on the 2011 Australian Open

The flags have come down, the stadium is empty. The people are all gone. It is quiet. Rod Laver Arena is still. The Australian Open is over for another year. The slate that was so clean a few weeks ago has been written on, rough sketches of things to come beginning to take shape.

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It’s time to reflect. Or try to forget. Or drink. Any of the above.

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I could do some in depth analysis of the tournament and what it all means and stuff, but that sounds like it would take a lot of energy and as much fun as deconstructing is, two weeks of solid tennis really takes it out of you – even if you’re only watching and not playing. So instead of actual, like, paragraphs and stuff, let’s make a list of stuff. Stuff that I noticed, stuff that I think is cool, stuff that I think is not cool. Stuff.

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1. When Li Na is done with tennis, she needs to have a stand up comedy career where she just makes fun of her husband all the time. She is COMEDY GOLD.

2. Why haven’t I noticed how cool Li Na is before?

3. It was nice that Kim Clijsters got to celebrate her victory as Kim and not as Jada’s mum. Jada is adorable and all, but Kim did this all on her lonesome.

4. Thank you, Kim Clijsters, for that takedown of Todd Woodbridge. It was awesome.

5. I can deal with Todd Woodbridge as a commentator. I’m fine with him. Love Jim Courier, surprisingly love Lleyton Hewitt. HATE BRUCE MCAVANEY. FIRE HIM AT ONCE. HE FILLS ME WITH RAGE.

6. Novak Djokovic was genuinely the best player on the men’s side this fortnight and was definitely due another title.

7. I had never, ever realised that Djokovic was such a speed demon. Or that he could do the splits.

8. Djokovic has improved over the years. He is no longer my most hated player. I’m never going to be a fan, but am glad to see he’s maturing.

9. I look at Djokovic, all I can see is Bert from Sesame Street. Or Screech from Saved By The Bell. Can’t help it.

10. There is a real chance Andy Murray might be the next Ivan Lendl.

11. There is a real chance Andy Murray might be the next Dinara Safina.

12. Dinara Safina is indeed the player I feel most sorry for all tournament.

13. Except for maybe Svetlana Kuznetsova, because NO ONE deserved to lose that match.

14. Francesca Schiavone is a FREAKING LEGEND. Seriously, how awesome is she? She rocks the kasbah.

15. Just because Caroline Wozniacki was funny in press conferences doesn’t mean I like her game any better.

16. I think Ekaterina Makarova really might be something in the next couple of years.

17. Same goes for Aleksandr Dolgopolov.

18. Actually, how freaking awesome is Sasha D? I am filled with so much Dolgopolove right now. Any man who is man enough to wear an Alice band is a man indeed.

19. I never realised how much I loved Rafa till he went down like that in the quarters.

20. Roger Federer will always be my favourite, no matter what happens in the rest of his career.

21. That said, the rest of his career is going to be pretty damn sparkly.

22. The world unfairly maligns David Ferrer. He is much more awesome than people give him credit for.

23. One good semi final does not a career make. Fernando Verdasco is the anti-Ferrer.

24. I’m not quite ready to jump on the Milos Raonic bandwagon yet. Sorry.

25. I am, however, quite ready to jump on the Anastasija Sevastova bandwagon, because I liked what I saw.

26. And then there’s that Dolgopolove bandwagon, which I have primo seating on.

27. And Richard Berankis, even if he got to the third round via Nalbandian-fail.

28. It was worth the Nalbandian fail to get to see that epic first round match against Hewitt. Best match of the tournament, second overall after Franlana.

29. Lleyton Hewitt is really a very good commentator. Never thought I would say this, but MOAR LLEYTON.

30. Did I mention how much I hate Bruce McAvaney?

31. Did I mention how much I hate Viktor Troicki? Because it is A LOT. I like fiery players. I’m a Safin fan. But he is vile.

32. Not just because he knocked out he of the anime-hair, Nicolas Mahut.

33. A great love of Nicolas Mahut seems to be the one thing all tennis fans can agree on. Fedophiles, Rafanatics... everyone loves Nico.

34. He should have got a wildcard to the Australian Open.

35. Sabine Lisicki should also have got a wildcard.

36. In fact, there should be an official Wildcard For Awesome.

37. Even though it failed, #wildcardformahut was an awesome experience. And it’s going to keep popping up every time he needs one.

38. I just generally think Mahut is the bee’s knees. In case you hadn’t noticed.

39. You know who else is awesome? Andrea Petkovic. There needs to be more people like Petkorazzi.

40. Petkorazzi has had an awesome summer and is due for a big rankings rise. Watch this space.

41. Likewise the tall left-handed space shaped like Petra Kvitova, because she is rocketing up so fast she will leave you in her dust.

42. Sandra Zahlavova’s screech is worse than Michelle Larcher de Brito’s. Yes, I’m saying it.

43. Venus Williams is a freaking WARRIOR.

44. Even if her dress did look like a pie.

45. Ernests Gulbis is not a warrior. I think I’m off the bandwagon.

46. Andrey Golubev was also disappointing, but there’s no way I’m giving up on him.

47. Marin Cilic was surprisingly un-disappointing. Good times.

48. Insert something vaguely complimentary (with conditions) about Bernard Tomic here.

49. Tobias Kamke is going to be so awesome so fast it will BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND.

50. We are going to miss Justine Henin so, so much.

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What would you add to the list?

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I liked the result of last year’s tournament better. Any tournament with a big fat RF on it is a tournament I love. But I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time than I did at the Australian Open this year. Good tennis, good wine, Federbitching friends... these are the things that make a real Grand Slam experience. And I was lucky enough to have all three.

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And now the countdown to Roland Garros begins, and I cannot wait. Not just because I finish work the Friday before, either...

Flat Stanley

Okay, so I chose the headline because I thought it was funny. The book Flat Stanley made me cackle with mirth for many hours as a child. I actually don't think Stanislas 'Stanley' Wawrinka was that flat at all. I just can't resist wordplay.

Let me qualify. Stan wasn't playing his bestest tennis ever, that is for sure. But it wasn't necessarily his fault. He wasn't playing his bestest tennis ever because his ol' mate Rog wouldn't let him.

It's hard to play your friends. Stan talked a bit about how he had to imagine there was no face on the other side of the net. Roger clearly doesn't have the same problem - nor could he afford to, being on the top of the game and having a committed bromance with rival Rafa. But quite apart from that, it's hard to play your friends because they know all your tricks.

Roger knows Stan's tricks. He knows all about the backhand down the line, and the angled backhand crosscourt, and the backhand in general. He knows about Stan's serve and his forehand and his volleys. This goes both ways, of course, but Roger has a LOT more tricks. You just have to look at the game played at the end of the second set to know that.

In a way, because Stan knows all his tricks, Roger had to play exhibition style tennis to beat him. This is a Stan very different to Stans we've seen before - this is Lundgren!Stan, who is aggressive and not afraid to get in his opponent's face and who rips winners like whoa. It reminds me a little bit of the early days of Dinara Safina and Zeljko Krajan, actually. This is a Stan like we've never seen him before, using his gifts - his backhand in particular - and his mind to play smart tennis.

So Roger had to play smarter. He had to reach into his bag of tricks and pull out some magic. He had to pull a rabbit out of his hat. And he did. Several rabbits and a few of those really long scarves with all the different colours and oh, what's this? a straight sets win! And next to that, Stanley - even the new, improved Stanley, who did not play awful - looked a little flat.

Roger will play Djokovic next, who overcame Berdych in straight sets in the Battle of Sesame Street. (Bert vs Big Bird, in case that is unclear.) Djokovic played some scintillating stuff, though he should probably never take up a career as a poker player - he hammed up rather than played down his vision problem, and it is to Berdych's detriment that he didn't take more advantage of that. But Djokovic wouldn't let him play well, at the end of the day - he played really, really well.

And so the semi-final will be a festival of frazzles for the Federer fan!

In the ladies, Li Na is firming as my tournament favourite - she played awesomely against Petkovic and has proved she can get it done against Clijsters, who will probably be her finals opponent. And then there was Schiavone - oh, Frankie. She played so valiantly against Wozniacki - winning the first set in very stylish fashion - but fell in the end. After you play nearly five hours, this is understandable. But the heart, the courage and the willpower she displayed to stay in this match was astounding. She is the kind of player that young tennis players should aspire to be - the type of player who never, ever stops fighting.

Get A Roof!

If there was one thing to take away from Day 4 at Roland Garros, it was this - GET A ROOF. Seriously, why is it that Australia, the Slam where it hardly ever rains, has two (soon to be three) of the things, and Roland Garros has none? When Wimbledon is ahead of the times you know something's a little interesting.

I know there's a lot of talk about Roland Garros moving sites - personally, I hope that doesn't happen, because this site is great, but how about a bit of the ol' upgrade? Melbourne Park is currently undergoing an AUD$363 million upgrade - surely Roland Garros can spring for a roof for Philippe Chatrier. I'm sure Wimbledon will give them the name of the guy they used.

But despite all this rain, there was actually some tennis - so without further ado...

The winners: The Yoker is coming through the draw like a hot knife through butter and I'm surprised people aren't talking about it more. He was on and off court in something like 71 minutes, which is obscenely quick. I will be very much surprised if he does not make it to the quarters (where I am hoping he will be stopped by Federer), because he is looking very, very good. He might have peaked a touch too soon, but we shall see, we shall see...

Speaking of winners, after a slow first set, Roger Federer is also in this column. Definitely a much better match than that four set nailbiter he played with Jose Acasuso last year.

Over with the ladies, I'm very surprised I'm saying this, but I am super impressed with Caro Wozniacki. She's not normally the type of player who closes out matches quickly, but she's had two quick matches now. Maybe this injury cloud hanging over her head has been good in a way, because it's forcing her to pull the trigger a little earlier and be more aggressive.

And also, no one's talking about her, but Nadia Petrova. Watch out for her!

The losers: Andrea Petkovic. Anyone that holds four match points (or, indeed, any match points) and then loses the match has got to be absolutely kicking themselves, and I'm sure this is exactly the case with Petkovic. It would have been an upset if she beat Kuznetsova, but she had her in the palm of her hand and still couldn't close it out.

Also, Lucie Safarova. I thought she was going to go a long, long way and then she went and lost to Polona Hercog in straights. This is a big time loss, because Safarova had the draw to go a long way. It's going to be really interesting to see who comes out of that side of the draw, because I just cannot pick it at all.

The disappointments:I have to put Gisela Dulko here. To go from beating Azarenka to losing to Chanelle Scheepers (yeah, I don't know who she is either) is fiercely disappointing.

I also have to put Taylor Dent here, because as brilliantly as Robin Soderling played, Dent played horrifically awfully. Seriously, dude, with your serve, you should be able to win more than two games in a best of five set match, even when your opponent is top ten. Really disappointing showing here.

The scraped-in-by-the-skin-of-teeth: As if I would go past Sveta on this one. She clawed this victory by the skin of her teeth, and I'm still not quite sure how she did it. Kudos to her, though. I love watching Sveta when she's playing well, and I'm really hoping she has sort of played herself into form. I would love it if she could come anywhere close to defending her title. Am not in any way expecting this to happen, but it would be awesome.

Story of the day: Jo-Wilfried Tsonga going apesh*t at tournament organisers about scheduling. I have to admit I don't have a lot of time for these kinds of temper tantrums - sure, it might put you out to have to play on Sunday, but suck it up, dude! But I am not a tennis player, so maybe I don't understand how difficult it is... and in any case, the tantrums are always mildly amusing, in a watching-a-train-wreck kind of way.

And the other story of the day is LightGate with Monfils and Fognini. Monfils nearly made the worst decision ever when he asked to push on at 4-all in the fifth... it will be interesting to see who comes out of this. I expect to be Monfils, but I would not be surprised if Fabio Fognini surprised him...

The Other Winners

I could continue cooing over Myla and Charlene Federer for quite some days - and probably there will be more baby talk this week, just so you're warned - but it is weekend winners day, so let's take a survey of who won what where. (Even though the biggest win this week clearly went to Roger and Mirka - welcome twins!)

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Let's start with the no surprises winners. Dinara Safina won in Portoroz - if she hadn't won I would have probably been poised to declare an official Dinara slump, considering most of her opponents there were ranked approximately #5000. She cruised through this week and though it was an odd tournament to choose to play, I'm hoping it just gives her that little bit of confidence she might need going into the US Open series. She can win the Open this year - I believe that. But she needs to believe it, or it ain't gonna happen.

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And then in Hamburg, Nikolay Davydenko came out on top. He wasn't the top seed - that was Gilles Simon - but given Simon's play of late he was effectively the top seed, and he played very well all week, including in his tough semi over David Ferrer. Nice work, Kolya. I have no idea why you insist on playing these silly out-of-place clay tournaments, but well done anyway.

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Then we have our two more surprising winners. Andrea Petkovic won in Bad Gastein. Um, who? Alize Cornet was the top seed here, but she's been hanging out with fellow Frenchie Simon too much, or so it would seem from her tennis. I can't comment anything more, really, because I don't know anything else about Petkovic. Which makes her win pretty sweet, even at one of these smaller satellite tournaments. Well done, Andrea.

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And then in Indy, Robby Ginepri overcame Sam Querrey in an all-American final. Ginepri has been flying under the radar for a number of years now and it is always surprising to me when he wins... I'm sort of used to him being in a slump, because he seems to have been there for sometime now. One thing, though - Querrey seems to have made a few finals this year, but I can't remember him winning any. Am I remembering rightly or did I just make this up?

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But my favourite win of the weekend (Federer twins aside) was in Hamburg, where Dmitry Tursunov and Ernests Gulbis won the doubles. Tursunov is a longtime fave of mine and I haven't seen much of him of late, and we all know that Ernests Gulbis is my favourite of the Stars of the Future, even if he hasn't been doing much this year. I'd like to say that this will rejuvenate them both... but I doubt this, really. However, I do like to see them win. They're a couple of my favourite boys!

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Today's Results

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International German Open (Hamburg)

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Nikolay Davydenko def. Paul-Henri Mathieu, 6-4 6-2

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Indianapolis Tennis Championships (Indianapolis)

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Robby Ginepri def. Sam Querrey, 6-2 6-4

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Banka Koper Slovenia Open (Portoroz)

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Dinara Safina def. Sara Errani, 6-7 (5-7) 6-1 7-5

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Nurnberger Gastein Ladies (Bad Gastein)

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Andrea Petkovic def. Ioana Raluca Olaru, 6-2 6-3

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Allianz Suisse Open Gstaad (Gstaad)

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Mikhail Youzhny def. Gaston Gaudio, 6-3 5-7 6-4

Andreas Beck def. Marco Chiudinelli, 4-6 7-6 (9-7) 6-4